Calm Waters

Does it kind of scare you when you are quite used to a steady rocking motion in your life and the waters suddenly calm to be as smooth as glass? Am I a weirdo or have I just adapted to draw comfort from that steady rocking in my life? I can safely say that up until this point in my life I have never experienced any major storms but those steady waves have gotten a little choppy from time to time...nothing I couldn't handle with God's help but now it is VERY calm....happy...fullfilled....good. I feel that I am doing what I should be doing. I feel like I am a stay at home mom who works a little.

I get enormous satisfaction from being able to devote more time to my children than I did before losing my job in March and being able to earn money for our family again makes me feel good as well. I am truly blessed and I think I can definitely get used to the calm waters but it is a little unnerving because it is just different....IN A GREAT WAY!!!

Too Tired To Sleep....

I am too tired to sleep and too tired to clean so I blog.

-I LOVE my new "gig"!!!!!

-I miss my babies while I work but I am loving coming home to their sweetness after being away all day!!!!

-My FIL is NOT coming this weekend afterall....I have another week before the couch camper arrives. Thank goodness for that because my house is NASTY right now. I need this weekend to recover from being out of town and the clutter that returned with us from Nannie Annie's.

-I have really enjoyed helping people over the last 2 days!

-Can you believe today is October 15th???? Where in the world has this year gone???? Geez!

-I absolutely HAVE to have a garage sale SOON before it gets way too cold..our house and garage are overflowing with junk, toys, clothes and shoes that no longer fit my kids. I hate having garage sales but the extra money is nice and we need the space that the clutter is hogging.

-I have tons of stuff to get done tomorrow on "my day off"....Jamey is off too so maybe he will entertain Sam while I do some running around after I drop Riley off at school.

-Riley is invited to two birthday parties this month for school friends. That means two gifts and two Saturdays containing a few hours devoted to socializing with the other moms while the girls screech and play. One will be a Royal Princess Party with each child coming dressed as a princess and one will be a tumbling party at the gym where Riley takes gymnastics. Riley will have a blast but it isn't my idea of an ideal Saturday.

-I haven't been able to wear my contacts for several days and wearing my glasses is making me grumpy! I miss my contacts. I wish this eye infection would take a hike!!!

-Little lunch ladies in any school system are usually the nicest people you will ever meet! I could just squeeze them!

-Sam's recent meltdowns seem to have finally slowed down. Whew I was beginning to get very annoyed with all of the fits he was pitching over EVERYTHING!!!! Little stinker!

-I am sick and tired of RAIN!

-I desperately need to steam clean my couches!!! Another task for tomorrow???? Perhaps so.

-I am so proud of Riley and how well she can write!!!! She is such a big girl!!!

-I really should go to bed....at least I don't have to get up at 5:15 in the morning like today but 7:00 is still early for me. Noon is more my speed. When I retire and my kids are grown and gone from my home I will sleep until noon once more!!!!!! I really miss naps. That is something I am really good at and with kids you just can't. One day...one day I will sleep late and nap.

No Tears Left To Cry - A Mother's Heartbreak

Words cannot express how heartbroken I am for a mother of an almost 2 year old little boy that I have never met. The thing that squeezes my heart more than anything is that the sadness, pain and fear I feel in my heart...the heart of a stranger is about 1/1,000,000,000 of what the mother is feeling tonight and that kind of pain must be unbearable and excruciating. I posted few sentences on her guestbook and I read over the other posts and they were all contained wonderful words of comfort but I can imagine that mother sitting in her rocking chair rocking that precious child who is basically in a coma at this point and nothing anyone can say or do could possibly take that hurt away. She is such a strong and wonderful mother based on all of her posts but now she seems like she is totally broken, completely hollow and according to her she has no tears left to cry. One thing that really made me get a tiny glimpse of what she is feeling is when she said she hopes to always remember what his cheek feels like against hers. Such a simple hope yet such an important and special one.

Nooooooo WAY....In A GOOD Way.....

I received a phone call yesterday offering me a position as a contracted employee with my former employer. I am VERY excited because it is not full time and it doesn't contain the toxic green stress that my other job did but I will still get to work with my former work family!!!!! Wooooo Hoooooo!!!!! I will work when needed, I am happy with the pay and I will still get to stay home with the kids quite a bit. WIN, WIN and WIN!!!!!

I will be doing what I love...enrolling members, explaining benefits, answering questions and addressing concerns. I am so very excited! It is a good feeling knowing that you are going to be going into a job that you already know like the back of your hand and can quite possibly do in your sleep!

I start right after I get back from St. Mary's!!!!! I am going to enjoy my little vacation and then come back and get to work!

This comes at a great time and the arrangement is so wonderful for me and my family. Things worked out so well. The timing was perfect down to when we had this trip planned.

Tired...Wanna Gripe!!!!

I am in the mood to gripe so I thought I would just go ahead and put that in the title so people who are not in the mood to hear me gripe can skip right over it.

Here are the things that are irritating me today:

-I am TIRED. Sam has gotten up in the middle of the night for 3 straight nights and I have not been able to fall back to sleep once getting him settled. Last night he must have tried taking his shirt off in his sleep and woke up terrified when he was stuck. He was screaming like he was really in pain so I flew out of the bed, got slightly dizzy on the stairs and almost fell trying to get to him and then felt a little dizzy again with relief that he wasn't hurt.

-Jamey was home all day yesterday alone and did not do a single thing other than watch football!!!!! I did force him to leave the t.v. and give the kids their baths last night...not for me to relax mind you but for me to clean up their bedrooms which literally took me an HOUR to do!!!

- One more thing about hubby and I will hush about him...he has to realize that I really need some time alone sometimes! I understand that he works all day and when he gets home he is wonderful to entertain the kids while I cook and clean but I honestly do not see that time as time alone! I go above and beyond in doing things with the kids away from home to give him some peace and quiet to watch football or nap because his job is physical and he stands up all day every day and he needs to rest. I just wish he would realize that I really need some time as well. It is like he realizes it occasionally but only if I remind him and the memory doesn't last much beyond that day. I took Sam to my mom's house a couple of days last week to play after I dropped Riley off to school and that was SO nice but it is kind of a hassle. My mom lives on the opposite end of the county so I get everyone loaded up, drop Riley off to school, drop Sam off at Mom's, drive all the way home, hang out for 90 minutes or so and it is time to pick Riley up, drive all the way back to Mom's to hang out for about an hour to let Riley play and then head home.

- I am PMSing!!!! I can't start my pills until this cycle ends!!! Grrrrrrrrr!

- I am waiting on a phone call that may or may not come regarding a possible job.

- I posted my resume on Monster.com and I really wish potential employers would actually look at the criteria I specified! I keep getting letters of interest from potential employers from far and wide. I am NOT willing to relocate!!!!!!!!! I wish someone from the north Georgia area would be interested! Grrrrrrrr!!!!!!!

- I am really looking forward to visiting my Grandmother-In-Law for an extended weekend but I am NOT looking forward to packing for myself and my children!!!!! I am not a good packer...I always forget things, pack too much or not enough and the weather down there is still warmer than here during the day but I have to call Ann to see if I need to bring some warm clothes for evenings and mornings. Trips are wonderful but somewhat stressful for me because I try so hard to be sure I have everything the kids will need/want while we are away.

- I REALLY have to lose weight!!! I actually lost 5 pounds last week (water weight I am sure...I totally kicked Coke to the curb) but I totally blew any progress I was making over the weekend and now I am royally ticked off at myself!!!! I have got to get in the gym again!!!! Now that Riley is back in school and Sam is potty trained I need to go....there is NO excuse for me not doing that for myself for an hour or so each day!!! Yep...that has GOT to happen!

I guess that is all the time I have to gripe for today! Hopefully my mood and the weather will be sunny again by tomorrow!!!!

Later Gaters!

-

Insane Spectating

My husband is obsessed with football!!! College football on Thursday nights, Friday nights and all day Saturday and then pro football all day on Sunday, Sunday night and then the Monday night game. I get it and I try not to complain because it is his thing. Now I have discovered that I don't MIND sitting and watching with him. (Him taking the time to explain, re-explain and re-re-explain the rules to me a few seasons back made it possible for me to being able to tolerate watching a game here and there.) I try to be supportive of him and his frustrations with his fantasy team....possibly winning the $1000 pot at the end of the year is a good incentive for me and he told me if I don't gripe he would split his winnings with me...it is going to be "fun" money not bill money if he wins. :-)

The best thing about football season and football viewing with him is how into it he gets. It is quite funny. He hops up, grabs his head in frustration, paces, sits down, pops back up, runs his hands through his hair, changes the channel in fury, yells at the t.v., professes that if such and such happens he will NOT watch the rest of the game, etc. FUNNY FUNNY FUNNY to me!!!! How in the world could watching a game effect you that much? It seems kind of crazy to me but then again I am a little envious of someone who can be a true "fan" of something because I never really have been.

Later Gaters!!!!!!
(Don't tell him that is my favorite closing...he HATES the Florida Gaters!)