Have You Ever....

Have you ever had an argument with someone who has totally lost their grip on reality?

I had the displeasure of that happening to me today. I am NOT a confrontational person...AT ALL but someone said something about someone in my family yesterday and I had to bring my displeasure about that to their attention today and it got ugly.

I think I have mentioned Jamey's sister and her husband in a prior post. Jamey's sister is 9 months older than me...she just turned 31 and she totally does not have her life together....never has actually. She got married to a 38 year old man last summer and SURPRISE he doesn't have his life together either. They are both unemployed drug addicts who live with my mother in law along with the husband's 12 year old daughter. (The daughter is a wonderful child by the way...smart, funny, sweet as can be.)

Several days ago Jamey's sister and her husband went on a drug rant for a few days, cops got involved, etc. and Jamey's mom swore she was done and that they were out of there! (The daughter could of course stay...like I said she is the best and deserves so much better out of life!)

Now, a few days later, Jamey's mom is coming to his sister's defense AGAIN. She has let her come back home...supposedly the husband can no longer live there anymore. It is as if his mom wakes up each morning with her memory wiped clean. It drives Jamey nuts!

Jamey originally told his mother that his sister was not welcome at Riley's party. My mother in law called the day before the party and asked if he would reconsider and let his sister come. He said yes but that her husband could not come.

Yesterday rolled around and his sister did not show up because she said it would hurt her husband's feelings if she came and he couldn't. Give me a flipping break PLEASE!!!!!! He is a 38 year old man....what 38 year old man wants to attend a 4 year old girl's birthday party if that child is not his child????? Jamey was willing to let the drug addict that he is related to come but not this person.

Jamey's mom did come for like 10 minutes. She told me that since Jamey's sister and husband were not welcome at the party she was planning on having Riley a party at her house today!!!!!! How freaking insane is that?! She gave Riley her gift right when she got here, knowing the party hadn't even started yet. She sought Jamey out and started an argument, said something rude about a member of my family and LEFT!!!!!!! I don't think she intended to stay from the beginning. (Before leaving she did say goodbye to me, lying saying she felt sick.) Jamey then told me that he would talk to me about it later but then later hesitated to tell me what she had said about the member of my family. I was LIVID!!!!! I had trouble sleeping and could not get it off my mind. I was trying to decide whether or not I was actually going to take Riley over to her house for birthday party number 3! (She had one at school, one here and this one would make three.) The party was completely for his sister's benefit.....NOT RILEY'S!!!!! Her daughter should suffer negative consequences for her actions....be a drug addict who takes advantage of Jamey's mom, you might not be welcome at our house....especially since you show up messed up to every single event you have come to!!!!!!

So this morning rolls around after a long somewhat sleepless night for me and I decided that I would take her over to Jamey's mom's house for party number 3...simply because she had already mentioned it to Riley the day before. When we get there I see that she had completely recreated the Luou theme from the party I gave....same plates, decorations, etc!!!!!!!! She went all out for just herself, Jamey's sister, her husband, Riley and Samuel. (Jamey refused to go.)

Before going I did write her a letter detailing why Jamey and I would prefer not to be around Amanda and how her behaviour is just enabling her daughter's bad behavior. While there I tried to avoid her altogether because of her comment about my family member and it's complete irrelevance in the whole situation with his mooching sister. I was at the sink washing the party dishes and she came up to me and broached the subject. Before I knew it we were in a yelling match!!!!! Totally unlike my personality or hers! She defends her daughter to the very end and in her opinion Jamey is the bad guy. The hard working husband and father who does not necessarily NEED her. She defends her daughter constantly and comes to her defense with every other breath. I was HOT!!!!!! My heart was pounding we were both pointing and there was some cussing. I have never argued with anyone like that other than my immediate family and I can count on two fingers how often that has happened.

My conclusion after the argument is that she needs help. Serious help! She is oblivious to the fact that her relationship and tolerance of her daughter's lifestyle is ruining all other relationships in her life. She is losing Jamey....FAST!!!! His sister has not worked in YEARS, her husband recently landed a job, got his first paycheck and went crazy with drugs. They have been married for almost a year and have been freeloading with Jamey's mom ever since. It is INSANE and everyone sees it except his mom!!!! Jamey does not expect or want her to choose between him and his sister but she has got to STOP trying to force them together. In the letter I told her she needs to accept the sad fact that she is going to have to have separate relationships with her two children. There is no other way right now. I have not seen Jamey this upset about anything EVER. Jamey cannot smile, be around his sister for special occasions and pretend that everything is okay....it's not and his mom may be wonderful about sugar coating things but it makes Jamey wants to puke.

My mother in law is a retired school teacher who retired when she was earning GOOD money. She was paid based on her Master's Degree, National Board Certification and 31 years experience. She draws a very good retirement benefit but because of her daughter and her constant needs and support she is FORCED to work 3 1/2 days per week to earn extra money cancer or no cancer!!!! Her debt can be contributed directly to her daughter....no doubt. She has been this way her whole life...sparatic jobs....no real job since Riley was a baby....4 years ago in fact!!! For the past year Jamey's mom has been supporting not only her daughter but her daughter's husband and her daughter's step daughter as well. CRAZINESS!!!!!!!!!!!

Jamey will not move past the feelings he has....it has gone on too long and he is seeing the problems it is causing his mom even if she doesn't. He would settle for hearing his mom admit that his sister is a bum...but she won't she will not admit that there is anything terrible going on. Jamey's sister and her husband throw in just enough ass kissing to get them by with her. Forget everything in the past... drug rants, rent free lodging for almost a year, joblessness, total disrespect of her and her home, etc. I have tried not to get involved other than playing mediator but now she has pissed me off. Insinuating that Jamey is to blame and hurling insults about my family in the mix ain't gonna happen while I am around!!!!!! Wake up LADY!!!!!!!

After the argument I played nice for the rest of the party that was staged for Jamey's sister's benefit and now I am here blogging out my frustration and outrage regarding this situation. Please pray that this will all work out peacefully. I have don't think I have EVER been this angry!!!!!!