I just got a phone call from my dad. I literally only get phone calls from his if he either wants something or to tell me something like...he bought a house. Today he called me to tell me that he did buy a house and that he has had some breathing issues.
We were on the phone for like 30 minutes in which he only talked about himself and the house he bought. He did not ask about his grandchildren even once.
I really try not to get bummed out about the fact that my dad could care less about me or my kids but sometimes it does bother me....probably semi-annually or so. The reason it doesn't bother me more than it does that he is missing out on getting to know and build a relationship with Riley and Sam is because they are surrounded by people who do adore them. My step dad is known as Paw Paw to them and my dad is known as Paw Paw Elvin. The kids always look puzzled when I mention Paw Paw Elvin as if they are trying to place who he is. I guess that is because they rarely ever see him and when they do see him he pretty much ignores them.
I grew weary years ago of trying to be close to my dad. Sometimes I feel that he has the emotional makeup of a single celled organism...that was harsh...maybe that isn't true....maybe he is just an incredibly selfish person....what ever the deal is we are not close and he and I obviously have no desire to be. Honestly I hardly ever think about him...probably as often as I think of a general acquaintance. I know this probably seems very sad and tragic to the people who read this but it is jut the way it has always been for me and honestly it only bothers me from time to time. What is the old saying..."You reap what you sow"???? He never invested any time with me or my brothers and it is quite hard to truly care about someone that really doesn't care about you. I don't think he has any true connections in his life...even he and his wife have a very strange relationship. Sometimes I think I am the only person in the world who only lives a few miles from their father only see him 3 times each year. Weird.
That is unfortunate, but I think you have an awesome attitude! Many people with univolved fathers spend their lives obsessed with it. You count your many other blessings and neither wonder what is wrong with you or fill your heart with comtempt for him. It is sad though that he is voluntary missing out on having relationships with such wonderful people. You and your children are lovely IMO.
ReplyDeleteSince we have been friends for years I knew about your dad and Mandi is right you do have a good attitude about the whole situation. The only person that is not gaining anything is him. He is missing out on such an amazing, smart, and loving young woman and her amazing and beautiful children. It is his loss and no one elses. I do hate that he did waste a phone call only to tell you about himself, because I know you and even though you have set your self apart you are still the type of person to worry over things and you will worry over his breathing problems. Just remember like I mentioned before he is the one that is missing out!
ReplyDelete