The Vicious Cycle

I have GOT to change some things around here!!!!!

I get the kids in the bed at 8:30 sharp each and every night - good so far.

I end up staying up until like 12:00 or slightly later because I really LOVE the time that provides to catch up hang out with hubby and sometimes just do whatever I want to do...or nothing at all really. Even after I lay down I have a hard time falling asleep....anyone who knows me knows this is very unusual for me. I could probably be in the Guinness Book of World Records for the shortest time it takes someone to fall asleep!

When morning rolls around I feel like I am super glued to my wonderful...oh so wonderfully comfortable bed. My limbs will not move, half my brain tries to talk the other half into letting Riley play hookie from school and just let everyone sleep for another hour or two. After I tell myself that ain't happening I do convince myself several times that a few more minutes really won't hurt in the long run. After lingering in the bed until WAY too late I finally get up and stumble to the bathroom completely furious with myself and the world in general.

After my brief pit stop I run up the stairs, plaster a smile on my face and wake Riley up with a good morning song. At first I am usually greeting with a slight smile and a hug, neutral grunt or mumble but on some days I am greeted with a pout and a whine and with my already fragile state of mind and body that is like nails on the blackboard. I hold my tongue and carry her downstairs and lay her on the recliner. I dash back up the stairs to fetch Sam. (My kids refuse to walk down stairs...the both ask me to carry them down so that is two trips up the 17 stairs for mom and the risk of another twisted ankle.) Sam is very unpredictable when he wakes up. Some mornings my heart delights at his smiles and laughs but other mornings he literally just crumbles and cries....ugggggg. When I get Sam downstairs I lay him on the sofa. I completely leave them alone for a few minutes giving them time to get acclimated to being up. I make their sippy cups, bring them to them say little to nothing as I do because you never know what may or may not disturb the very fragile contentment. While they sip I throw on my clothes (no time for a shower for me - I take one when I get home from taking Riley to school...thank goodness for curb drop off) and iron Riley's clothes for the day. (Samuel is going through a stage right now of refusing to wear p.j.s, he wants to "be dressed" all of the time!!! For some reason he associates being dressed with being "big" so we just go with it. We let him sleep in a comfy T shirt and elastic waist shorts that are fine for him to wear when we go to take Riley to school - good for me...one less kid to dress in the morning. As I am finishing the ironing I ask both kids to go potty. This gets very strong reactions of protest!!!! "Aw man (Sam's favorite response to unpleasant things), I don't have to go yet, there's not any pee pee in my pee pee'er Moma, I can't walk, I'm toooooo tired, I will go when I get to school, I'll pee pee later". This is when my paper thin patience usually gives way a little. I literally have to march them to use the bathroom and brush teeth. I get Riley dressed and do her hair in record time, pack Riley's snack and drink for school, let them decide what breakfast items to take for the road. (I know it sounds terrible that I make them eat in the car but they actually eat better and more this way...when we are here they are kind of in a daze and will not eat so we take it with us...usually a muffin and some apples or grapes and we are set to head out the door. Getting in the car is another challenge...usually Sam cries because he wants to buckle himself up, which I give him time to attempt to do. He can do it but it literally takes like 15 minutes to do the two bottom snaps. He gets frustrated and I can't afford to let him take the full 15 minutes so when I have to do it for him he gets ticked off....EVERY single day!!!!

Once we are in the car and moving we are finally GOOD. The kids are eating happily, we put on their Imagination Movers CD, they laugh and sing between bites and chewing and life is GOOOOOOOOD and peaceful again.

Sam and I drop Riley off, maybe run a few errands, come home, I shower, I get online for a few minutes, we play, I clean up a little, make Sam a snack and it is time to pick Riley up.

At 2:30 each and every day I crash!!!! I get so tired I could literally fall out. This is when I have to get creative to find ways to push through until I get a second wind!

I guess I need to get in the bed earlier, get up earlier and hopefully that would make things better in the mornings!!!! I guess the alone time I crave would just be shifted a bit. I would have less at night but more in the mornings. That could work! I will try it to implement it tonight....after Grey's Anatomy ends it is straight to bed for me!!!! :-)