On the way to take Riley to school this morning as my babies were in the backseat munching happily on their muffins and sipping on their juice boxes jamming out to their Imagination Movers CD I was doing some major pondering.
What in the world does the future hold for me? Am I meant to stay home for a while longer, will I find a job that will be great for now, should I rethink what I would like to do Monday - Friday for years and years to come, should I go back to school? WHAT??????
Let me describe the way I am about most things....it takes me a while to make major decisions but once I do I am in for the long haul. I grab on with my claws and teeth and pretty much have to be beaten off with a stick by circumstances beyond my control.
I came straight home and hopped online. I now have a college admission application in front of me as well as a copy of the academic calendar for 2010. Wow. I am not saying at this point I will or will not decide to take this path but I am excited about the possibility of it. I plan on talking to Jamey tonight and see what his thoughts and feelings are on the subject.
This time is my life is and has been very strange...out of the ordinary....scary....exciting....happy.....unsure....hard....easy....all rolled into one big fat burrito of confusion. Should I go to school? Should I just REALLY look for a job? Should I do both? Jamey seems to be happy with me staying home for now....should I just go with that? Would I be a good student after all this time? What course of study? Would I qualify for financial aid? Can I commit to this if it is what I decide to do? Eeeeek!!!! I REALLY HATE BIG DECISIONS!!!!
The good news is I do not have to decide right away as registration does not begin for Spring Semester until the beginning of November.
I am going to pray about it and discuss it with hubby man!!!!
You sound like me. I have spent that past 7 years trying to find the right path. I flip-flop all the time with what I want and don't want. I can find a million and one excuses to do or not do something. I finally decided a while ago just to sit back and see what happens. I will not stress myself out trying to figure it all out in a day. I will do what I can and chase what interest me at the time and see where it leads me. I hope that you can find some amount of peace on your choices and that you find the road that is just right for you and yours. You will be great what ever you choose to do :)
ReplyDeleteThanks Jess!!!! I really want to make some sort of decision and just attack it but it is getting to that decision that is driving me batty. Wanna start school with me???? :-) It would be like the good ole days!!!! We could copy each other's work and everything!!!!
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