I LOVE This Time of Year.....Birthdays, Week Off For Extra Family Time, Thanksgiving....Oh My...

 

 

Before Jamey and I had children we would alternate Thanksgiving and Christmas between his family in south Georgia and my family here.  After Riley and Sam came along we decided to stay travel to St. Mary's for Thanksgiving every year and stay home for Christmas since Santa Claus comes to town.  :) 

 

This year Jamey is only off today, on Thanksgiving Day...also his birthday...so we stayed home.  My side of the family is going to have a Thanksgiving Chili Cookoff this coming Saturday so today it was just the 4 of us.  I really miss the family we did not get to see today but honestly a low key Thanksgiving was nice. 

 

I got up early this morning, let the birthday boy sleep in as long as he wanted, made breakfast for everyone and started cooking up a storm! 

 

I baked birthday cupcakes, roasted chicken, dressin', green beans, potato salad, blackeyed peas, mac and cheese, turnip greens (Jamey's fav...gag me gag me) and rolls.  I was quite proud of myself for my accomplishment. 

 

We did have a few follies: 

 

 Riley and I totally dropped the uncooked chicken on the floor. (Who knew it would go straight through the roasting bag I put Riley in charge of holding?  Not me...) I yelled "3 second rule" and snatched it up as quick as lightning.  Jamey peeked his head in the kitchen to find me clutching the raw chicken and Riley's hands slapped over her mouth.  He asked if I dropped it and I smiled and said, "Of course not!"  I am sure the loud slap sound it made as it hit the linolium was a dead giveaway. 

 

Sam was in charge of peeling and then chopping one of the three eggs for the potato salad.  Well...he peeled it and then started chopping it on the plate with all of the shells.  Jamey also peeked his head it about that.  He said he really hoped he didn't bite down on any egg shells.  Grrrrr...he got a major stink eye when he came into my kitchen that time. 

 

Sam wanted to put sprinkes on the cupcake and dumped 1/2 the container of sprinkles on ONE cupcake.  He was delighted to eat that treat. 

 

My camera battery was completely dead first thing this morning so a lot of the pictures were taken with my phone.  Could kick my own butt for not charging it last night.  Oh well!

 

Being off since Monday has been awesome!!!!  The kids and I have had a blast being lazy and spoiling ourselves.  Sleeping somewhat late, lounging in our pj's all day a couple of times, shopping, eating out, going to the movies, hitting the public library, getting haircuts, etc.  Best part....we have 3 full days left!!!!  :D

 



 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Bubba Bear was the only guest invited to our celebration.  He had his own plate, silverware and roll.  He even got to sit in the comfy computer chair.  We love Bubba Bear!



 Stinky Potato Salad preparations!  I am glad I had helpers...even if one of them thinks that the egg shells would be a good addition to the mixture.  LOL!

 Riley always loves to help me make the dressin' and I love telling her about my Nannie Jennie and Maw who made the BEST dressin' EVER!!!  They would both love this little girl!

 Sam talked me into letting him blow out a candle on one of Jamey's cupcakes....never pass up a chance to make a wish sweet boy!

 Light Beer Birthday Candle for Daddy....he does really love beer.  :D

 Yum Yum!!!!

 My semi-permanent birthday card from Ri Bug.  Sweetie Pants!

 Two little gift giving birthday elves.  They really do love to give.

The wonderfully delicious birthday cake my friend/neighbor and coworker Melissa baked for me and delivered on the morning of my birthday.  Love that girl!

 The birthday flowers my wonderful friend and coworker Cindy gave me.  They were the perfect centerpiece for our meal today!  Love her too!

Birthday smiles, card and gifts for Daddy this morning!!!  Happy 36th birthday to my sweetie!!!  :D



Okay....so.....34 stinks so far......

November the 16th was great!!!  I was still 33...my work friends spoiled me rotten with gifts, funny cards, Amazon gift cards, flowers, a cupcake, a balloon and lunch....my choice of restaurant.  I was queen for a day.  (Well it would have been perfect had I not accidentally forwarded an email instead of cutting and pasting...thus, accidentally allowing that client contact person see a message I wrote to a fellow coworker that stated that the client (in general) "do not know what they are doing right now because they do not have an HR director"....big fat oops!!!!!  I apologized and all seems well now.  Whew!

Okay, so then I come home Friday night and Jamey doesn't mention anything about birthday plans.  (Let me note here that we do not really exchange gifts anymore.  We normally give a card to each other and let the kids pick us out something simple and maybe go out to dinner...no big hoopla required or expected.)  I was thinking....he is totally going to forget that my birthday is tomorrow....let's see.  I know that was a little evil of me not to just go ahead and say...."Hey...since it is my birthday tomorrow maybe we should....."

Like every other Saturday for the last several months he has to work.  His alarm goes off and I patiently wait for the, "Happy Birthday Honey."  Nope.....didn't happen.  Okay....so it's early, he is sleepy.  No biggie. 

The kids and I get up....we piddle around...I make breakfast and keep my phone close.  No call.  No text.  Ummmm....

I get various other visits, calls and texts but nothing from Jamey.  I let the kids give me the gifts they picked out with their Grandma and I give in and let them talk me into cutting the cake my friend brought me.  We had a big ole time but in the back of my mind I kept thinking.....he has forgotten my birthday AGAIN....you see.....he forgot last year too.  :(

Around 3:00 my phone rings and it is Jamey saying he is on his way home and like always he asked what what we were going to have for dinner.  I sat there for a few seconds debating on cluing him in then or when he got home in person.  I finally did say, "well.....since it's my birthday......"  TOTAL silence.  He replied with, "Oh CRAP....is today the 17th?  I'm sorry Honey."  He got a few whatevers from me before we got off the phone.  WHAT THE CRAP!!!!  MY BIRTHDAY IS A MEEZLY 5 DAYS BEFORE HIS!!!!!  COME ON!

So I could tell by the amount of time it took him that he had stopped somewhere.  He comes into the house and hands me a mushy card and he even wrote a little paragraph inside.  I know this makes me a total B but I did not even want to read it.  I was hurt and ticked!  I did read it but I was hurt and TICKED!

So I acted totally childish for the rest of the afternoon and evening and refused to go out to eat.  I was just sad and I didn't want to have to get ready and get both kids ready to go.  I just wanted to pout.....so I did.

To give you a little background...I have always LOVED my birthday.  Some people can take them or leave them....not me....I love when mine rolls around.  I always have.  Now, this is NOT because a big deal was ever made about my birthday.  I grew up extremely poor and we never had money for things like that.  I have never had an actual birthday party.  I specifically remember several birthday cakes but never a party.  I can remember one year I think I got a pair of new school shoes for my birthday and that was it.  When I was growing up I may or may not have gotten anything for my birthday.  It was just the way it was.  Maybe there are some leftover issues from those days that I still have because I just love people to at least remember. 

I tried to tell myself that Jamey is a guy and guys forget things....he had wonderful birthdays growing up....he could care less about them now....but not me.  It is one day of the year that is mine.  I lived another year...woooo hoooo! 

On Sunday I still had a little leftover hurt feelings and just as I am deciding to feel better I find out that my Father In Law is coming into town on Wednesday and probably will not leave until the next Tuesday.  GRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!  I am off all this week so I was REALLY looking forward to being here with the kiddos and enjoying some family time.  Jamey is only off on Thursday.....soooooo....that leaves me here with my FIL Wednesday, Friday and Saturday without Jamey even being here.  GOOD TIMES!  I had it all planned out.....Jamey is off on Thursday....which is also his birthday...which I will NOT forget mind you.  I was going to cook a big breakfast, make a part traditional part non-traditional Thanksgiving meal and bake him a cake.....just the 4 of us!  Normally we are in St. Mary's for Thanksgiving but with Jamey's work schedule we decided to stay home.  My mom and I planned a chili cookoff Thanksgiving feast for the Saturday after Thanksgiving so we are free to enjoy the holiday with just our little family.  I was SO excited!  Larry's call burst my bubble big time.  I know I am being a big ole meanie head but DANG!  He ALWAYS eats with his mom and sister for Thanksgiving.  I really do not mind him being with us on the holiday but I am mourning my whole week of just chilling at home with the kids.  Even though he is family you know that when you have a guest in your house you are never completely at ease.  :(  BUMMER!!!!

So I am not digging the days I have had since turning 34.  I know your hearts are just bleeding for me because I am a whinney baby.  Maybe I will feel better about life tomorrow. 

PS  Oh, and I was "off" today but I had to go in for a little bit this morning....with kids and I got 7-10 work related texts and had to log onto the remote server and check my email twice from home.  NOT HAPPY!  Give me a break 34....come on now!

Icy Fingers of Fear....

I know that the two of you who normally read and comment on my post are mothers and you have been through things with your children that has sent that feeling over your whole body. 

Well, I have experienced it a couple of times....but none like what I experienced yesterday/last night/today.

You see, I have a very good friend who also happens to work with me.  I will call her E.  E. and I actually go way back....graduated high school together....worked together for a couple of years at a local accountant's office and have worked together for basically 10 solid years at where we are now...love that girl.

About a month ago I get a frantic call from E. before work one day.  She tested her 10 year old daughter's blood sugar the day before and again that morning and it was OFF the charts.  She was in full on panic mode.  She was sobbing into the phone and just kept saying...."This is going to change her whole life!"  I did not have the words to comfort her...I just listened and prayed.  Her daughter was admitted into the hospital that day and their family went through 3 days of intense diabetes education/training/glucose regulation.  E and her daughter are adjusting well to their new lifestyle and challenges.  After a year E's daughter will possibly qualify for an insulin pump but for now it is constant testing and insulin injections.  I had no idea until her daughter's diagnosis that the number one cause of type 1 diabetes is the body's own immune system attacking the pancreas. 

E. loaned one of her daughter's glucose monitors and a few strips yesterday.  I wanted to mainly test Sam because he is always thirsty and pees all the time.  So with a quick little lesson I bebopped home and tested both Riley and Sam.  I tested the after they each ate an apple but before dinner.  Sam's level was 134 and Riley's was 280!!!!!  OH NO!!!!!  FREAK OUT MODE!!!!

I texted E. and she suggested that I not freak out....for me to check Riley again this morning after fasting.  I was scared to death all night....all sorts of thoughts going through my mind.  What quality of life will she have during her whole life?, You are supposed to give injections in the fat not muscle...she doesn't have any fat....injections will be extremely painful for her, will she be able to have children safely one day? (Steel Magnolias kept playing through my mind...weird but true), Will she suffer kidney failure later in life?, Will one of be a match if she needs a kidney?, We will NEVER be able to be without insurance again...not even for a minute, my insurance plan is crappy....if she is hospitalized I will owe over $5000 right off the bat....not to mention the cost of all the medication and testing supplies, I need to join a support group for moms of diabetic children...yeah....I was a big ball of worry and fear!

This morning I checked Riley and Sam both again.  Sam's was 94 and Riley's was 93.  I felt a lot better but I called the doctor anyway to see if they wanted to see her. 

As I waited to hear back from the doctor I got a call from the school nurse telling me that Sam was throwing up.  Fantastic!

The doctor wanted to see both of the kids so off we went.  The doctor was very concerned about the 280.  The did a urine test on both kids and both tests were normal.  According to the doctor, children cannot be borderline diabetic.  He was concerned and puzzled about that 280 reading and then a normal one this morning.  He said there was a possiblility that the strip could have been contaminated.  He wants me to test her tomorrow morning and Friday morning and then call him with the numbers. 

I am still uneasy but no where near total panic that I was feeling before.  Dear icy cold fingers of fear...go away and never come back.  Please and Thank You!

Selfishness

I know I have not posted anything in a very long time but today I just have to.

This morning I woke up to Jamey's alarm blaring at 4:45 am.  He got up and I rolled to try to drift back off until my alarm goes off at 6:00.  As he was piddling around getting ready for the day I was just in a funk.  You know those days...it is Monday and I have to go to work....poor pitiful me, I have no clue what the kids are going to wear to school today....man, I should have laid their clothes out last night....poor pitiful me, I wish I could cover up my head and not face the day....poor pitiful me, I wonder if anyone will do something special for my birthday this year....will anyone even remember without me reminding them that it is coming up....poor pitiful me!!!!!!

I scraped myself out of bed, robotically made muffins for the kids, scraped outfits together for all three of us, woke the kids up, forced myself to take a shower deciding I didn't feel like washing my hair or putting on makeup, got dressed, had the kids get dressed, packed lunches, repacked bookbags, got the kids in their jackets and we were off to school.

My spirits were lifted on the way to school as I listened to the kids laugh and talk in the backseat.  I parked in my normal spot and I walked the kids into the school through the side door designated for teachers and parents who walk their children in.  Sam was being a goofball walking ahead saying he was NOT going to give me a kiss and did not need me to walk him to his room or early room....all the while looking over his shoulder shooting me goofy faces.  Riley and I were walking slower and chatting about this and that...nothing at all.

We were there earlier than normal due to the time change I suppose so Riley and I took our time and were admiring various writings and art work that was displayed on the walls.  We made sure Sam made it to early room and as we were walking down the hall that connects Riley and Sam's classrooms I heard a whimper.

I did not think much about it and then a second later I saw her....brave and beautiful Mrs. A.   Kindergarten teacher superstar.  She was Riley's kindergarten teacher two years ago.

In January of last school year Mrs. A.went to the doctor complaining of back pain.  When they did an Xray they found breast cancer...then bone cancer....then brain cancer....cancer everywhere in her body.  Even with all of that she kept working...she finished out the school year.

She did not return to work this year.  The teaching position for her class was filled with a long term substitute.

Recently, Mrs. A. returned to the school and even attended the Fall Festival week before last.  I heard someone say that she wanted to meet her class and that she was going to work the following week and that would be her farewell.  :(

Well this morning after I heard that whimper and as she turned the corner to come onto the hall that Riley and I were standing in my heart just broke into a million pieces.  She was so thin, her face contorted in pain, her dear sweet husband was helping her walk on one side and she had a walking cane for the other side, her steps shuffled and there were tears in her eyes from the pain she was in.

She looked down at Riley and sweetly said, "Hello Love."  Riley lit up and hugged her ever so gently.  I was trying very hard to hold it together.  I asked how she was and she just smiled sweetly and said, "I am doing good."  Oh, the courage, oh, the strength, oh, the devotion, OH, MY SELFISHNESS!!!!!

I ushered Riley to her class as I am sure Mrs. A. needed to sit.....immediately.  I held my tears until Riley was in early room then the flood gates opened up!  I prayed I would not pass very many people on my way out.  I made it to my car and I just wept.

I wept for that dear sweet woman.  I wept for her family...she has a devoted husband, her two children.  I wept for her courage and her devotion to a job she LOVES.  I wept because of my own selfishness. How could I think....poor pitiful me!!!!  HOW???!!!!  Getting up this morning was easy for me....I do not have pain radiating though my body, going to work for me was easy....I do not have to have physical help getting into the building......

There is a song that we sometimes sing in church...."Lord Break My Heart For What Breaks Yours".  Well I felt that today.

I truly believe God wanted me to see her today....he wanted me to see something that broke my heart.  I should not have been there that early....I am normally in those halls 20 minutes later than that at least.  I had to see her.....today.