2009 Was Definately Full Of Ups and Downs

If I had to describe 2009 in one word I would say it was surreal.

It started out like any other year really. Until, whammo...I was suddenly unemployed. That caused a flood of worries, relief, emotions, fears and pure joy. I had the most awesome summer with my kids ever!!! We hung out, we played, we caught up and were basically inseparable. Yes, there were times while being a full-time stay at home mom I could have pulled my hair from my head strand by strand but I didn't and we all made it through.

My mother in law was diagnosed with breast cancer and completed her treatment in 2009. She is cancer free and putting her life back together. She is a very strong person but to watch her go through that was heartbreaking and there were a few close calls that were terrifying.

I started a job search for the first time in 6 years. That was nerve racking and somewhat intimidating!!!! I felt like a statistic...one of the 10.5 percent of Georgians looking for a job.

I initiated and was drill sergeant for the potty training boot camp for Sam. Looking back that 15 days was pure torture....BUT we did it and well before his 3rd birthday!!!! I was beginning to think that yes, I was going to have to pack his pull-ups for kindergarten!!!!

Almost before my very eyes my daughter seemed to become a "big girl" in 2009!!!! She started pre-k and she just seemed to grow up. I can't really explain it but it seemed to happen when she turned 4 in May. I cannot believe she will be in "real" school next Fall! (Sniff sniff!!!!!)

In October I was offered a job...with the same company I worked for before doing work that I enjoy a WHOLE lot more than what I did before. Being a mother of two young children I simply cannot handle the stress of the position I had before. I need a job that I am good at, that I enjoy but that I can leave at the door of the office when I walk out for the day. I have too much on my plate at home to be carrying around professional baggage 24/7. My family deserves for me to be "free" when I am with them!!!!

My family had a wonderful Thanksgiving and Christmas and we are looking forward to a wonderful 2010.

Resolutions:....in no particular order
1.) Have more patience
2.) Cook more
3.) Volunteer more, give more to my community
4.) Take better care of myself so that I can take better care of my family.
5.) Make more time for things I enjoy.
6.) Encourage Jamey to take more time for things he enjoys.
7.) Attend Church on a more regular basis.
8.) Keep my house more organized
9.) Make more time for family...parents, siblings, etc.
10.) Criticize less

May I Ramble??????

I haven't blogged in a while. I haven't really had the desire to and really haven't had very much at all to say but for some reason tonight I am in the mood to kind of ramble about whatever comes to mind.

I am beginning to think that there seriously should be a rehab center(s) for people addicted to their cell phones! I think the whole cell phone addiction era has gotten WAY out of hand people! I have a cell phone. I rarely ever leave home without it because I do have two small children and I very sadly lack the ability to change a tire so I have it. I also text occasionally and because in my life sometimes it is easier to text than to have a long drawn out phone conversation but the absolute addiction is beyond my realm of understanding. I also really enjoy an uninterrupted daily conversation to my mom on the way home everyday just to get catch up before I get home where I have no time for idle chit chat. I feel like a very old fuddy duddy but I think "young people" today should maybe put the phone down and I don't know...talk to their friends face to face or stop ignoring the people who are in front of their face to constantly mess with their phones. I honestly think that it is really beginning to affect some people's real people skills. Okay enough about that.

I am so glad that I have recovered from my horrible HORRIBLE sickness that plagued me for like 8 straight days. Tonsillitis and strep is NO FUN FOR ADULTS!!!!! I was so very miserable and began to get so very depressed when I didn't get any better after days....and days....and days!!!! I am so thankful for all of the wonderful people who helped me out with taking care of my children and taking care of me. Jamey was unbelievably patient and kind the whole time and my mom and mother-in-law were a Godsend. I was sick from the Saturday night before Christmas and finally feel 100% as of yesterday. When I finally went to the emergency room because I was a sobby mess who cried on the doctor due to 4 straight days of unbreakable fever and no sleep. Thank goodness I will never see that particular doctor again because I was a mess. If I had known it would take several more days after treatment to get better I would have gone on day 1!

My grandmother-in-law is in town and she has obviously taken me up as a pet project because here is a list of things she has done for me since being in town: She was here all day yesterday and her and her my mother-in-law kept the kids here at our house today while Jamey and I worked....so in two days she has:
-Vacuumed out every vent in my house
-Vacuumed my stairs...all 17 of them...I have only done that like 4 times since being in the house...I usually just give them a little sweep occasionally.
-Cleaned my microwave inside and out
-Cleaned my stove...am I the ONLY person on the planet who didn't know that a stove top on a regular stove lifts up? That was embarrassing. It was NASTY under there....I am assuming that the person who owned the house before us didn't know that lifted either because I don't think all of that mess could have been from us.
-Bought me a new dust mop and one of each of her brands of cleaning supplies.
-Took down and washed my living room curtains.
-Caught up all of my laundry
-Put away all of my laundry
-Encouraged me to take off my sofa cushion covers and wash them (I have been too chicken to do this because if they shrunk or if I just couldn't get them back on we would be sofa and loveseat-less and too poor to buy more...so for the three years we have had that furniture I have been spot cleaning them and dreaming of them being clean.....I feel like I have brand new furniture WOOOO HOOOOO!)
-Washed my dishes twice
-Cleaned my ceiling fans
-Wiped off the tops of each door frame
-Vacuumed under all of my couch cushions

The list above does not include all of the things she directed/ordered Jamey and I to do yesterday as well. She is a work horse and she is 77! I feel bad/embarrassed that she felt my house was in such need of her help but really she just loves to be busy and she loves feeling like she is helping. She never sits still and has a magical way of not making you feel like you are a complete and utter failure as a housekeeper/wife/mother...if it were ANYONE else I would have felt that way but she we just laughed and worked happily together yesterday...I do feel bad that she worked on my house today without my help but I didn't ask her to by no means. She is a one of a kind and when I got home today I felt like the Merry Maids had visited my house!

I am suffering from picture uploading withdrawals!!!!! We STILL do not have our new computer!!!! This old spare is okay for checking e-mail and blogging but I think if I do anything involving pictures it may send it over the edge of existence so I won't. I have so many pictures on my camera that I am dying to view and edit!!!!

Have you ever had a decision to make and you honestly do not know what to do? I have something like that right now and I am stumped!!!! I just cannot seem to come to a decision one way or another. I know what I should decide but will that be best in the long run? The fear of possible regret is quite strong sometimes. Normally I do not have such indecision and fear about such things but in this case I do. This is one of those times when I kind of wish I had someone to say tell me exactly what to do. The pros and cons list that I have are almost perfectly balanced and like I said I am stumped!

Lately I have come to really long for a really close friend. Having your spouse as a friend is wonderful in so many ways but to have a really close girlfriend is such a blessing and I don't feel that I really have that. I do have friends and I am very close to a lot of people but I don't really feel like I have a "sister" friend. I have always been extremely close to my cousin Laura and Jessica and I were very best friends for years and years and still are very close despite the distance if that makes any sense but I don't have a daily best friend. I would love to have a friend who I talk to every day or several times each week and got to see often....another mother of small children would be nice. If you have that you are very lucky and you should nurture and cherish that friendship. I think that some women really don't need that sort of relationship in their lives but I think I do. I guess I should hold best friend auditions. :-)

I better go....I didn't realize it had gotten so late.

Later Gaters!!!!

A Good Night's Sleep Will Do Me GREAT!!!!

I am so sorry I did my meanie negative vent last night.....I am exhausted!!!! Sam woke up in the middle of the night AGAIN last night so that makes the 4th straight night of interrupted sleep and I have pulled a lot of hours this week so I am T.I.R.E.D. I think the time I spent at home from March - October spoiled me a little. Being back in the life of a working mommy may take a few more months to adjust to. I am somewhat enjoying being back to work and feeling like I am contributing financially to our family again but an adjustment time is probably inevitable.

When I get tired or sick or hormonal (and I am lucky enough to be all three of those at the same time at the moment) that is what I do...I just want to kind of lash out and each and every little thing when I am in that state is like a bur under a saddle for me.

I am looking forward to a good night's sleep tonight....hopefully and I hope to wake up tomorrow morning feeling more like myself. I am praying that the two things that have been making me lose sleep will not happen tonight....1.) I will not be plagued with my frequent coughing fits and 2.) Samuel won't wake up scared saying there is a monster in his room. He gets into such an upset state that there is no calming him down and if I don't bring him downstairs his cries and whimpers would wake Riley up and then I would have an even bigger wee hour of the morning problem on my hands.

I know it is only 9:00 but I am going on to bed. Sacrificing my only time to relax will be worth it tonight.

Later Gaters and Goodnight!!!!

SOMETIMES YOU ARE IN THE MOOD TO VENT

Well I have been meaning to blog for a while but every time I start you I only have negative thoughts swirling around in my mind so I decide to keep those little boogers to myself until now because if you can't vent sometimes you may actually blow a gasket so I thought I would just list a few things that are bugging me so that hopefully after posting them here I can let them go like fluffy snowflakes on the icy cold winter breeze......wow...thinking of snow if quite calming for me.

-Being 31 S.U.C.K.S...I feel like I am literally falling apart at the seams...thanks for letting me vent that out to you the other day on the phone Jess!!!!! :-) Like I told Jess it appears that I am 31 and instead of having a boob job or a tummy tuck I am more along the lines of a bladder tack...caused by getting old or having two large babies only 18 months apart with the last one weighing in at 9 lbs 14 oz...yep...that probably did my poor bladder in!!! So next week I have an appointment with my regular doctor for a followup to my appointment last week for a physical which is when they found the UTI and where I brought my leaking problem to their attention, an appointment with my OBGYN to find out once and for all if I am hormonal or just mean and to have my wonderful exam and an appointment with the urologist to discuss my issue...can't wait for the BCT...bladder control test...that will be a dump truck load of fun having them fill my bladder and then have them apply some sort of stimuli resulting in my peeing all over the exam table...that is what I heard takes place anyway. I AM FALLING APART DAILY!!!!

-WHY does Sam always pick the wee hours of the morning to wake up when I am already scheduled to get up at 4:45 for an out of town enrollment???? I left my house at 5:30 this morning after being up with him from 3:00 - 4:00. I enrolled people practically nonstop from 7:00 am - 6:00 pm tonight and I am BEAT. Those early morning snuggles are one of the sweetest things in the world...I guess one day I will really miss those when he is a big boy and too cool to cuddle up with Mommy.

-Why is my daughter such a drama queen at the tender age of 4 1/2????? Some days it is all I can do to deal with the moodiness, the drama, the extremely tender feelings, the meanness, the spitefullness and the temper that that little person possesses!!!! Even with all of those characteristis she is also one of the most caring and tenderhearted children I have ever met...that is what keeps me going I suppose.

- WHY is my husband a horses ass???? Ya'll he really is. Practically every word that he utters is a smart ass remark. He is becoming his grandfather before my very eyes and there is nothing I can do about it. (Jamey's grandmother told me that her husband...the one Jamey obviously inherited his horses assness from made her so angry one day over the subject of a frozen chicken she bought that she whapped him with the chicken and I can TOTALLY relate with that!!! Jamey's grandmother is the one who coined the name Horse's Ass for Jamey and she referred to her husband of 50+ years as that as well. :-) Jamey is not only this way toward me to to EVERYONE he knows. His negativity really wears me out sometimes!!!! I know you guys and I know that there a few of you who are automatically thinking of things to come to his defense so I will give you an example of what I am talking about....I come home from working what...including driving time almost 14 hours today and this is our conversation....Jamey says, "What are you going to cook?" I respond, " I have a frozen bag meal...if you will give the kids a bath I will go ahead and cook." He adds his wonderful remark, "Grrrreat a bag meal. Lord forbid you ever make meat and vegetables. And you ALWAYS buy the garlic stuff!!! You know I hate the garlic and that is all you ever buy." I pause from my task of folding a couch load of clean clothes to just blankly stare at him. If I had had the frozen bag meal in my hand at the time I would have probably whapped him with it!!!! This is a TEENY tiney glimpse and later he proceeded to go back for a second helping of the garlic pasta stuff that he HATES!!!! Please keep in mind that most nights we are a meat and two veggie kind of family for dinner. But he must be smoking crack rock if he thinks I am going to do that on a night like tonight when we are already behind with dinner, baths, story time, teeth brushing and the after the hours I put in. Sometimes I think he just likes to bitch...just to be bitching. I have said before that I would probably be bored out of my mind to be married to someone who is mushy gushy constantly but being a smart ass constantly is quite irritating at times as well. Okay I will remove my fangs from my husbands butt and move on.

-The other day I was thinking of a "why bother" list....things like....why bother have a dog if you are going to keep it on a chain in your yard? Why bother going to a field trip with your child to the Nutcracker, have the best seat in the house and stay glued to your blackberry the WHOLE time without looking up at the show ONCE or sharing in your little girl's excitement about the show? Why bother getting your little girls decked out in perfectly pressed name brand monogrammed clothes with the huge hair bow on their head just to go to preschool where they get covered in glue, paint,markers, glitter and go outside where they get covered in wood chips and grass stains and their $15 hair bow gets tossed to the ground and stomped on? (Some people must truly have more money than sense.) There were more but those are the only ones I can recall at the moment.

-My FIL...aka Couch Camper is coming this weekend....correction....TOMORROW....crap...tomorrw is Friday. It isn't horrible when he comes because he really does do a great job at entertaining the kids while he is here and I get a little more free time than normal but having someone in your house every 4-6 weeks for several days on end gets a little old. The kids do adore him and I shouldn't complain that he wants to see them so often but 24/7 for several days about once a month is a lot.


I better run...I better do a little cleaning since my house guest will be arriving tomorrow afternoon around 5:00...good thing I am taking off 1/2 day tomorrow!!!! I have a date with my mop I guess!

Maw, Maw Hight, Nannie Jennie and Hazel I Miss You!!!!

I just finished making the dressin' for our Thanksgiving dinner tomorrow and I am a little happy and a little sad. Memories of my grandmothers and great grandmothers came flooding back like a dam in my heart opened up.

I absolutely love Thanksgiving and have so many wonderful memories of it over the years but the one that really sticks with me the most is that my grandmothers and great grandmothers made the BEST dressin' in the whole world and it was always the center of the meal...even more so than the turkey or the ham. They all made it practically the same and it may have all tasted slightly different but all was super yummy!!!

I remember helping them mix it all up and waiting very impatiently until it was ready. They would always let me have a little sample before the meal began because they knew it was my very favorite thing in the world.

It may sound crazy but while I was mixing up and baking my cornbread and then mixing up the dressin' I couldn't help but feel them with me looking over my shoulder. I really enjoyed being in the kitchen alone with my memories of them. I miss them all so much. They will all be remembered and missed tomorrow as our family gathers to give thanks without them.

Sometimes The Unexpected Happens

Sometimes you have something completely unexpected and wonderful happen. Ahhh...isn't it a great feeling when you do? You feel instantly blessed, happy and special and if you are smart you just smile and enjoy the moment while it lasts.

I feel so very blessed sometimes that I can't stop smiling. I really should feel blessed all of the time because I truly am but sometimes the world and the funkiness of it seems to fog my eyes When that happens I have to remind myself to wipe the crap away so that I can see my blessings and the wonderful glow that they radiate can warm my soul back up.

Please remember to turn your eyes toward your blessings and if you can't see them just push some crap out of your way so that you can. The blessings are much more pleasant to look at than the crap that may be bringing you down.

Later Gaters

I Am Here And That Is About It....

Lately I have felt like I am just kind of floating along....nothing great nothing horrible happening...just going through the motions. There are so many things I should be getting accomplished but I just can't seem to get myself motivated to do anything other than the required things each day.

I was off all day yesterday so you would think that my house would be clean along with my dishes and laundry but that most certainly is not the case. I am still recovering from the funk I have had for over a week so I opted to kind of lay around all day and snuggle with the kids instead of getting my house whipped into shape.

I am going to go into work from about 12:00 until 4:00 today so I have a few hours this morning to get something done but so far that isn't really looking like that is going to happen either. Sam and I just got back from taking Riley to school and here I sit....blogging....most certainly not cleaning. This is such a very strange feeling. I know what I need to be doing but just can't bring myself to do it. Maybe it is my moodiness, laziness, sickness or a brutal combination of all three.

I really do have to get up and at em...whether that is actually accomplishing something or just getting myself showered and ready I better get up start moving.

I hope everyone else has a much more productive day than I think I am going to end up having!

Later Gaters!

Let The Misery End

I cannot remember ever feeling so sick before. My head feels like it could explode into a huge puff of confetti each and every time I move or cough and the coughing is constant so my head may just do that exploding thing soon!!! I have discovered that if I hold my head with both hands before I cough it doesn't hurt quite so bad but I much look like a crazy person when I do that. This whole mess started slowly on Friday and I must admit I am leaps and bounds better than on Saturday but still quite sick.

WE HAVE HOT WATER AGAIN!!!! We actually called in a favor to a friend of a friend and with a few beers and a few bucks passed to him we got the brand new gas hot water heater hooked up about an hour ago. The water should be perfect just in time for evening bath time!!!! Yay!!!!

My house is in desperate need of a good scrubbing with extra elbow grease! I have GOT to get better soon because if I don't and I don't get this house clean I will go absolutely insane!!!!!

Jamey ran out to get a pizza so I don't have to cook tonight. I am so glad because I would probably have to wash dishes before I could and afterward and this way I only have to do them once now that I have hot water I have no excuse anymore...sick or not I have to at least clean up the kitchen before I get up in the morning or my day will go in a negative direction from the get go and I can already tell I do not need that tomorrow!

I haven't been able to get in touch with my mom today. I usually talk to her at least once if not twice each day. I will try again in a minute. I haven't left messages....there she is now ringing my cell phone. Better run.

Calm Waters

Does it kind of scare you when you are quite used to a steady rocking motion in your life and the waters suddenly calm to be as smooth as glass? Am I a weirdo or have I just adapted to draw comfort from that steady rocking in my life? I can safely say that up until this point in my life I have never experienced any major storms but those steady waves have gotten a little choppy from time to time...nothing I couldn't handle with God's help but now it is VERY calm....happy...fullfilled....good. I feel that I am doing what I should be doing. I feel like I am a stay at home mom who works a little.

I get enormous satisfaction from being able to devote more time to my children than I did before losing my job in March and being able to earn money for our family again makes me feel good as well. I am truly blessed and I think I can definitely get used to the calm waters but it is a little unnerving because it is just different....IN A GREAT WAY!!!

Too Tired To Sleep....

I am too tired to sleep and too tired to clean so I blog.

-I LOVE my new "gig"!!!!!

-I miss my babies while I work but I am loving coming home to their sweetness after being away all day!!!!

-My FIL is NOT coming this weekend afterall....I have another week before the couch camper arrives. Thank goodness for that because my house is NASTY right now. I need this weekend to recover from being out of town and the clutter that returned with us from Nannie Annie's.

-I have really enjoyed helping people over the last 2 days!

-Can you believe today is October 15th???? Where in the world has this year gone???? Geez!

-I absolutely HAVE to have a garage sale SOON before it gets way too cold..our house and garage are overflowing with junk, toys, clothes and shoes that no longer fit my kids. I hate having garage sales but the extra money is nice and we need the space that the clutter is hogging.

-I have tons of stuff to get done tomorrow on "my day off"....Jamey is off too so maybe he will entertain Sam while I do some running around after I drop Riley off at school.

-Riley is invited to two birthday parties this month for school friends. That means two gifts and two Saturdays containing a few hours devoted to socializing with the other moms while the girls screech and play. One will be a Royal Princess Party with each child coming dressed as a princess and one will be a tumbling party at the gym where Riley takes gymnastics. Riley will have a blast but it isn't my idea of an ideal Saturday.

-I haven't been able to wear my contacts for several days and wearing my glasses is making me grumpy! I miss my contacts. I wish this eye infection would take a hike!!!

-Little lunch ladies in any school system are usually the nicest people you will ever meet! I could just squeeze them!

-Sam's recent meltdowns seem to have finally slowed down. Whew I was beginning to get very annoyed with all of the fits he was pitching over EVERYTHING!!!! Little stinker!

-I am sick and tired of RAIN!

-I desperately need to steam clean my couches!!! Another task for tomorrow???? Perhaps so.

-I am so proud of Riley and how well she can write!!!! She is such a big girl!!!

-I really should go to bed....at least I don't have to get up at 5:15 in the morning like today but 7:00 is still early for me. Noon is more my speed. When I retire and my kids are grown and gone from my home I will sleep until noon once more!!!!!! I really miss naps. That is something I am really good at and with kids you just can't. One day...one day I will sleep late and nap.

No Tears Left To Cry - A Mother's Heartbreak

Words cannot express how heartbroken I am for a mother of an almost 2 year old little boy that I have never met. The thing that squeezes my heart more than anything is that the sadness, pain and fear I feel in my heart...the heart of a stranger is about 1/1,000,000,000 of what the mother is feeling tonight and that kind of pain must be unbearable and excruciating. I posted few sentences on her guestbook and I read over the other posts and they were all contained wonderful words of comfort but I can imagine that mother sitting in her rocking chair rocking that precious child who is basically in a coma at this point and nothing anyone can say or do could possibly take that hurt away. She is such a strong and wonderful mother based on all of her posts but now she seems like she is totally broken, completely hollow and according to her she has no tears left to cry. One thing that really made me get a tiny glimpse of what she is feeling is when she said she hopes to always remember what his cheek feels like against hers. Such a simple hope yet such an important and special one.

Nooooooo WAY....In A GOOD Way.....

I received a phone call yesterday offering me a position as a contracted employee with my former employer. I am VERY excited because it is not full time and it doesn't contain the toxic green stress that my other job did but I will still get to work with my former work family!!!!! Wooooo Hoooooo!!!!! I will work when needed, I am happy with the pay and I will still get to stay home with the kids quite a bit. WIN, WIN and WIN!!!!!

I will be doing what I love...enrolling members, explaining benefits, answering questions and addressing concerns. I am so very excited! It is a good feeling knowing that you are going to be going into a job that you already know like the back of your hand and can quite possibly do in your sleep!

I start right after I get back from St. Mary's!!!!! I am going to enjoy my little vacation and then come back and get to work!

This comes at a great time and the arrangement is so wonderful for me and my family. Things worked out so well. The timing was perfect down to when we had this trip planned.

Tired...Wanna Gripe!!!!

I am in the mood to gripe so I thought I would just go ahead and put that in the title so people who are not in the mood to hear me gripe can skip right over it.

Here are the things that are irritating me today:

-I am TIRED. Sam has gotten up in the middle of the night for 3 straight nights and I have not been able to fall back to sleep once getting him settled. Last night he must have tried taking his shirt off in his sleep and woke up terrified when he was stuck. He was screaming like he was really in pain so I flew out of the bed, got slightly dizzy on the stairs and almost fell trying to get to him and then felt a little dizzy again with relief that he wasn't hurt.

-Jamey was home all day yesterday alone and did not do a single thing other than watch football!!!!! I did force him to leave the t.v. and give the kids their baths last night...not for me to relax mind you but for me to clean up their bedrooms which literally took me an HOUR to do!!!

- One more thing about hubby and I will hush about him...he has to realize that I really need some time alone sometimes! I understand that he works all day and when he gets home he is wonderful to entertain the kids while I cook and clean but I honestly do not see that time as time alone! I go above and beyond in doing things with the kids away from home to give him some peace and quiet to watch football or nap because his job is physical and he stands up all day every day and he needs to rest. I just wish he would realize that I really need some time as well. It is like he realizes it occasionally but only if I remind him and the memory doesn't last much beyond that day. I took Sam to my mom's house a couple of days last week to play after I dropped Riley off to school and that was SO nice but it is kind of a hassle. My mom lives on the opposite end of the county so I get everyone loaded up, drop Riley off to school, drop Sam off at Mom's, drive all the way home, hang out for 90 minutes or so and it is time to pick Riley up, drive all the way back to Mom's to hang out for about an hour to let Riley play and then head home.

- I am PMSing!!!! I can't start my pills until this cycle ends!!! Grrrrrrrrr!

- I am waiting on a phone call that may or may not come regarding a possible job.

- I posted my resume on Monster.com and I really wish potential employers would actually look at the criteria I specified! I keep getting letters of interest from potential employers from far and wide. I am NOT willing to relocate!!!!!!!!! I wish someone from the north Georgia area would be interested! Grrrrrrrr!!!!!!!

- I am really looking forward to visiting my Grandmother-In-Law for an extended weekend but I am NOT looking forward to packing for myself and my children!!!!! I am not a good packer...I always forget things, pack too much or not enough and the weather down there is still warmer than here during the day but I have to call Ann to see if I need to bring some warm clothes for evenings and mornings. Trips are wonderful but somewhat stressful for me because I try so hard to be sure I have everything the kids will need/want while we are away.

- I REALLY have to lose weight!!! I actually lost 5 pounds last week (water weight I am sure...I totally kicked Coke to the curb) but I totally blew any progress I was making over the weekend and now I am royally ticked off at myself!!!! I have got to get in the gym again!!!! Now that Riley is back in school and Sam is potty trained I need to go....there is NO excuse for me not doing that for myself for an hour or so each day!!! Yep...that has GOT to happen!

I guess that is all the time I have to gripe for today! Hopefully my mood and the weather will be sunny again by tomorrow!!!!

Later Gaters!

-

Insane Spectating

My husband is obsessed with football!!! College football on Thursday nights, Friday nights and all day Saturday and then pro football all day on Sunday, Sunday night and then the Monday night game. I get it and I try not to complain because it is his thing. Now I have discovered that I don't MIND sitting and watching with him. (Him taking the time to explain, re-explain and re-re-explain the rules to me a few seasons back made it possible for me to being able to tolerate watching a game here and there.) I try to be supportive of him and his frustrations with his fantasy team....possibly winning the $1000 pot at the end of the year is a good incentive for me and he told me if I don't gripe he would split his winnings with me...it is going to be "fun" money not bill money if he wins. :-)

The best thing about football season and football viewing with him is how into it he gets. It is quite funny. He hops up, grabs his head in frustration, paces, sits down, pops back up, runs his hands through his hair, changes the channel in fury, yells at the t.v., professes that if such and such happens he will NOT watch the rest of the game, etc. FUNNY FUNNY FUNNY to me!!!! How in the world could watching a game effect you that much? It seems kind of crazy to me but then again I am a little envious of someone who can be a true "fan" of something because I never really have been.

Later Gaters!!!!!!
(Don't tell him that is my favorite closing...he HATES the Florida Gaters!)

The Pill......

After Jamey and I welcomed Samuel into our lives we were both certain that we did not want or really afford more children and after several months of coaxing Jamey VERY reluctantly agreed to have a happy little procedure called the vasectomy. (He does not mind me mentioning his little procedure.) He hobbled around for like 10 days (the normal recovery time being around 2 days) and now it is just a distant unpleasant memory for him. I was thrilled because I didn't have to worry about being on the pill anymore.

W e e e l l l l ......that is before I have developed these hormonal issues I have and according to my doctor we should try putting me back on the pill for the hormonal balancing effect. What?????? Aw man!!!!! Hubby has had a vasectomy and I still have to be on the pill!!!! Ugh!!!!!

GOOD NEWS SECTION:

1.) He says I will get the most benefit from being on Seasonique which will mean I will only have 4 periods each year...I can DEFINITELY deal with that!!! :-) According to the reference material he gave me the extended cycle pills have shown more results in balancing out hormone levels.

2.) This should squash any tiny bit of fear that I have of conceiving despite the vasectomy...I know it is rare but it is not completely unheard of. That would be my luck....10 years down the road...Riley a freshman in high school and BAM.....I get pregnant again! That fear is in the back of my mind and this would take care of that.

3.) I am hoping I will begin to feel better, have more energy and the meany in me be forced to stay at bay.

The Vicious Cycle

I have GOT to change some things around here!!!!!

I get the kids in the bed at 8:30 sharp each and every night - good so far.

I end up staying up until like 12:00 or slightly later because I really LOVE the time that provides to catch up hang out with hubby and sometimes just do whatever I want to do...or nothing at all really. Even after I lay down I have a hard time falling asleep....anyone who knows me knows this is very unusual for me. I could probably be in the Guinness Book of World Records for the shortest time it takes someone to fall asleep!

When morning rolls around I feel like I am super glued to my wonderful...oh so wonderfully comfortable bed. My limbs will not move, half my brain tries to talk the other half into letting Riley play hookie from school and just let everyone sleep for another hour or two. After I tell myself that ain't happening I do convince myself several times that a few more minutes really won't hurt in the long run. After lingering in the bed until WAY too late I finally get up and stumble to the bathroom completely furious with myself and the world in general.

After my brief pit stop I run up the stairs, plaster a smile on my face and wake Riley up with a good morning song. At first I am usually greeting with a slight smile and a hug, neutral grunt or mumble but on some days I am greeted with a pout and a whine and with my already fragile state of mind and body that is like nails on the blackboard. I hold my tongue and carry her downstairs and lay her on the recliner. I dash back up the stairs to fetch Sam. (My kids refuse to walk down stairs...the both ask me to carry them down so that is two trips up the 17 stairs for mom and the risk of another twisted ankle.) Sam is very unpredictable when he wakes up. Some mornings my heart delights at his smiles and laughs but other mornings he literally just crumbles and cries....ugggggg. When I get Sam downstairs I lay him on the sofa. I completely leave them alone for a few minutes giving them time to get acclimated to being up. I make their sippy cups, bring them to them say little to nothing as I do because you never know what may or may not disturb the very fragile contentment. While they sip I throw on my clothes (no time for a shower for me - I take one when I get home from taking Riley to school...thank goodness for curb drop off) and iron Riley's clothes for the day. (Samuel is going through a stage right now of refusing to wear p.j.s, he wants to "be dressed" all of the time!!! For some reason he associates being dressed with being "big" so we just go with it. We let him sleep in a comfy T shirt and elastic waist shorts that are fine for him to wear when we go to take Riley to school - good for me...one less kid to dress in the morning. As I am finishing the ironing I ask both kids to go potty. This gets very strong reactions of protest!!!! "Aw man (Sam's favorite response to unpleasant things), I don't have to go yet, there's not any pee pee in my pee pee'er Moma, I can't walk, I'm toooooo tired, I will go when I get to school, I'll pee pee later". This is when my paper thin patience usually gives way a little. I literally have to march them to use the bathroom and brush teeth. I get Riley dressed and do her hair in record time, pack Riley's snack and drink for school, let them decide what breakfast items to take for the road. (I know it sounds terrible that I make them eat in the car but they actually eat better and more this way...when we are here they are kind of in a daze and will not eat so we take it with us...usually a muffin and some apples or grapes and we are set to head out the door. Getting in the car is another challenge...usually Sam cries because he wants to buckle himself up, which I give him time to attempt to do. He can do it but it literally takes like 15 minutes to do the two bottom snaps. He gets frustrated and I can't afford to let him take the full 15 minutes so when I have to do it for him he gets ticked off....EVERY single day!!!!

Once we are in the car and moving we are finally GOOD. The kids are eating happily, we put on their Imagination Movers CD, they laugh and sing between bites and chewing and life is GOOOOOOOOD and peaceful again.

Sam and I drop Riley off, maybe run a few errands, come home, I shower, I get online for a few minutes, we play, I clean up a little, make Sam a snack and it is time to pick Riley up.

At 2:30 each and every day I crash!!!! I get so tired I could literally fall out. This is when I have to get creative to find ways to push through until I get a second wind!

I guess I need to get in the bed earlier, get up earlier and hopefully that would make things better in the mornings!!!! I guess the alone time I crave would just be shifted a bit. I would have less at night but more in the mornings. That could work! I will try it to implement it tonight....after Grey's Anatomy ends it is straight to bed for me!!!! :-)

Where Did I Put My Mommy Manual????

Don't worry...I promise I will keep this post light!!!! ;-)

Why oh why does parenting not come with a manual??? All I can say is thank goodness for the Internet. Moms are very lucky to be able to look things up in like to seconds...what to do for a bee sting, POTTY TRAINING TIPS (saved my sanity), is it normal for my child to ______, should I be concerned if my child is not_________by _______age, tips on explaining death to a toddler, tips on controlling tantrums, help...I have a very picky eater, sneaking nutrition into your child's diet...the list can go on and on...

The one thing that always amazes me is how much my children expect me to know how to do. Just the other day Samuel handed me a piece of paper and said "Mommy draw Go Diego Go for me.....peeese!" Well, we were actually at a restaurant waiting on our food and I had taken the kids some crayons and paper along for entertainment so I wasn't somewhere where I could access my trusty Internet friend to save me...nope, I was not able to pull up a coloring page real quick for my precious little one SO I had to draw it using only the picture of Diego on Sam's sippy cup as a guide. I am proud of myself that I could actually do it....Mommy saved the day and made her little man very happy!!!!!! Sam was so funny...he watched me ever so closely as I drew his "friend" Diego and his little eye's lit up when I was finished. He decided not to color Diego and I was so proud of myself I scanned it in so that I can print it whenever he wants another copy and I thought I would share it with you guys. Like I always say...it really doesn't take much to make me happy....making Sam happy with my "art" was wonderful! It also doesn't take much sometimes to be your child's hero....sweet little boogers!!!!

Tears Are Flowing.....

Yesterday I wrote about wanting to hide out little did I know what kind of day the mother of the precious Ian was having yesterday.

I just read Mary's post for the day and I cannot stop the tears. She said she wanted to take her son and hide under her bed with him after the doctor's appointment yesterday. She has every right to want to hide...I have none.

http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/ianandyellis/journal/1

I have seriously been considering driving to Centre Alabama to show my support for Ian's Extravaganza on October 3rd to raise money for reasearch for RCDP children and possibly meet this extraordinary mother.

Take care all and take the time to hug and kiss and thank God for your healthy babies!!!!

Some Days Are Perfect For Hiding Out

Today is Monday, the weather is yucky, my kids woke up grumpy and I wish I could just pull a huge quilt over my head and hide out for the entire day. I would bask in being surrounded by darkness, warmth, comfort and I would succumb to the sweet call of delicious sleep......ahhhhhhh that would be a dream come true on a day like today. BUT....I can't...I will just have to wait until tonight. I vow now that I will crawl into my wonderful bed at 8:31....exactly one minute after putting my stinkers in their beds!!!! You know you have to be tired when you are already planning going to bed when you have only been up for two hours and you are already planning and looking forward to going back to bed tonight.

I can't sleep the day away but if the kids play well together for a little while today I may be able to curl up with a book and lose myself in it for a while. That will be a nice compromise I guess.

I hope everyone has a wonderful rainy Monday and if you are someone who can curl up and sleep today....do it! :-)

A Big Jumble

For some reason today my mind has kind of been a big jumble of thoughts and I have had a wide range of emotions today as well....I don't know how I have really had time for all of this pondering since the day has been CRAZY but I did. I guess you may say this entry will more than likely just be kind of random.



First of all I would like to say how very thankful I am for my health and especially the health of my family. Mandi put an excerpt from another mother's blog in one of her entries a little while back as well as the link for those who would like to read and follow this particular mother's blog regarding her son Ian. I didn't read it immediately for whatever reason but for some reason a few days later I went back to Mandi's blog and followed the link to Ian's site. Now I read the journal about Ian daily. Reading the entries Ian's mother posts, having her courage and optimism wash over me is a very powerful thing. I think about that little boy and his family several times throughout my day and when I pray they are right there at the top. Ian's mother's name is Mary and her courage, strength, love, adoration, perseverance and hope are unbelievably amazing to me. She has said several times in her journal that she is determined to do everything for her sick son that she would do for a healthy son and she is. Right now she is redoing his room to be a "big boy" room. I have gathered from a couple of Mary's entries that they actually kind of celebrate Ian's birthday monthly because each day they have with him is a gift they really didn't expect they would have. Could you even imagine that? I know that none of us know when our lives or the lives of the ones we love will end and miracles happen everywhere each and every day but to have a child who was born with two very severe medical issues and has been under hospice care since practically the first day he came home from the hospital is so incredibly heartbreaking and unimaginable to me. I hope that if I am ever faced with an unimaginably difficult situation in my life that I am as strong as Ian's mother and that I will be able to hold onto that positive outlook. She has posted several times to cherish your children, so what if they run around and make a mess in your house...her little 23 month old son cannot run around he cannot speak, he does not grow....hug your babies, clean up their messes, listen to them tell you what they want to say...some mother's would love to have that for just one day!!!!

We found out today that my MIL has several blood clots in her lungs most likely caused my the Chemo or by the drug Herceptin which she was given along with the chemo and will have to remain on over the next year. They immediately started her on medication to thin her blood and hopefully dissolve the clots but this is so very scary to me. You hear of people all the time who suffer from blood clots that break free and travel through the body. I am trying not to focus on the what ifs but sometimes that is hard to do. Please pray for her and that the medication will be successful in what it is meant to do.

I am still in limbo with the whole career issue. I honestly do not know what I want to do. I continue to look for jobs but honestly there are not a whole lot to find. I am still seriously leaning toward returning to school and Jamey is supporting me no matter what I decide to do. Sometimes I wish someone would TELL me what to do....here are your orders, please follow them to the letter sort of deal...give me a concrete objective and let me go...a world of options is a bit overwhelming to me. I have thought about everything from dental hygienist, nail technician, teacher, nurse, using my license and practicing as an insurance agent (boo), continuing to stay at home, volunteer work only....and the list could go on for several more lines at least. What does my future hold? I need to make a decision and run with it! I think I would feel so much better if I knew what the deal is and is going to be for a while....know what I mean???? I am kinda sick of treading water...I want to get where I am going or decide to be happy where I'm at. Who knows!!!!!

Better run...Later Gaters!

Sometimes Sweetness Sneaks Up On You....

Out of my precious little hand full of blog followers none of you really know my husband other than what I post about him here. Those posts normally and mainly consists of gripes and huffy vents about him (this blog is my free therapy after all and that is what I use it for) so I thought I would show you another small glimpse of another side of him.

As you all know, I have often described my husband as an ass or more fondly a horse's ass. Before you get ruffled just know that he totally agrees with me as does most other people in his life. I have come to realize over the years we have been together that although this is VERY annoying and I have gotten VERY angry with him multiple times over his horse's ass ways over the years it really does keep things kind of interesting around here. Could you really imagine being married to a syrupy sweet sticky gooey husband for the rest of your life??? REALLY???? Well if you can that is okay but I really couldn't. We kind of balance each other out...I try to get him to be nicer and hold his tongue more and he tries to make me speak up and be mean when the situation calls for it.

As you all may know/remember Jamey encouraged me a few months ago to buy a VERY expensive (by our standards) camera. I was quite shocked and thrilled! He knows I love taking pictures of our kids and he knows I love pouring over them, editing them and sharing them with family members but he has never really been particularly interested in my pictures other than glancing at them occasionally and maybe commenting on the ones I frame. It is just my thing. When I mentioned I would love to have a new lens with more zoom...as in maybe for Christmas or much later he told me to go ahead and get it. WHAT?????

Several days ago I decided that I would work on a photobook for Jamey's grandmother for her birthday. She has absolutely everything and giving her a great gift is quite difficult and pointless really...she always tells us to save our money and that all she only wants to spend time with us. She does have one weakness though....pictures of her only great grandbabies. After hours of working on the book it was complete and ordered and I was thrilled with the result!!!! Jamey kind of grumbled at me for working on the book for so long, grumbled and asked how cost, etc. He really does exhibit characteristics of an 80 year old man!!!!

Well, the book came in yesterday and I was so excited about how it turned out I was dying to show someone who would appreciate it so I called my MIL and asked her to come over to look at it and tell me what she thought her mom would think. When Jamey got home we were busy with the kids and then he got on the phone for like an hour about his fantasy football team. I showed it to my MIL when she got here to play with the kids....she LOVED it and I now know what she is getting for Christmas this year!!!!

After Veronique left I handed the book to Jamey and while he was looking at it I was cooking, chasing kids, ran to the bathroom to get things ready for bathtime, etc and when I got back to the kitchen he was still looking at it. He was actually looking at it slowly and seemed to be absorbing each and every detail. He has his head kind of bowed and was making quiet comments like "Riley is such a sweetie, look at my boy, look at our little gorgeous, Sam is so funny". In the back of the book I put a poem for his grandmother and on the back cover I put a picture of her holding and comforting Sam when he was crying and I wrote "Our children are so lucky to have you in their lives. Thank you for loving them so much." Jamey's eyes were watering when he handed it back to me and he told me what a great job I did on the book and that Ann would love it. This is just one of my times he has shown that softy side that lurks beneath. That moment reminded me that he truly adores his children, he does care about my hobby and he can be sensitive.

I just got off the phone with him before I started this post and he asked me if I would bring him some lunch after I pick Riley up from school and that he would like me to bring the book to him so that he can show it to the guys at work. Awwwwwww...........

He will inevitably revert back to the horse's ass but having him be a syrupy sweet gooey husband every now and then is okay with me too!!!!

Later Gaters!!!!

We Have A Breakthrough Ladies and Gentlemen!!!!!

As of today I think that Sam is officially potty trained!!!!!! (Other than occasional accidents that may occur from time to time.)

I am basing my celebrating on the fact that today is day 3 with no number 2 accidents, we have gone for multiple outings over the weekend and this week for hours on end with no accidents, he hasn't had a pee pee accident since the very beginning of this process 11 long days ago, he has not wet the bed at all and he now exclusively uses the big potty I think we have reached our ultimate breakthrough!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I am so ready for potty training not to be the first and foremost thing on my brain!!!!!!!! Other than using the little potties as step stools I am DONE with those things!!!! I am sick of emptying them, cleaning and sanitizing them!!!!!

Y.U.C.K-O!!!!!!

Uh Huh...Oh Yeah....Uh Huh!!!!!!! I am definitely doing the fanny shaking dance for this victory!!!!!!! It has been a very long 11 days!!!!

Sometimes I Would Just LOVE To Growl Out Loud!!!!

I have picked up the habit of using the Grrrrr when I am online to show my frustration/irritation at things and sometimes I wish I could really growl at people sometimes without seeming like a complete psycho!!!! I try my VERY best to never cuss so I think growling would make me feel better!!!! (I probably only cuss a couple of times each month...PMS gets me every time!!!!)

In this post I will list two times I would have loved to growl:

After I dropped Riley off at school this morning Samuel and I ran to Walmart. I had completely forgotten trash bags at the grocery store the other night and we are getting low on dish deterent so away we went. When we got inside I remembered that the new Barbie Three Musketeer movie came out this week and so did the Deigo Artic Adventure move so I thought I would buy Riley and Samuel those as a special treat. Riley for doing so well in school and being so well behaved and minding her manners and Sam for being such a big boy and doing such a wonderful job with his pottying. After Walmart I took Sam to get a spiffy hair cut and we were on our way home to clean up a little before picking Riley up.

When I was putting Riley in the car and buckling her up I was attempting to have a quick conversation with another parent and Riley started yelling at me..."Mommy I am TRYING to tell you something!!!! Mommmmmmy!!!!!! LISTEN to me!!!!!!!" I had to sternly tell her that I was speaking to an adult and asked her to please be quiet. When I got in the car I really wish I could have growled at her!!!!! That would have described my frustration perfectly!

After a long talk with her on the way home regarding the fact that it was very ugly for her to interrupt me while I was talking with another adult and that she would have plenty of time while we were riding home to tell me what she wanted to say I decided that I would go ahead and tell her that I had a surprise for her when we got home....despite her severe lapse in manners. When we got home I gave her the movie and she instantly dropped to her knees and said that she did not want the movie she wanted the dolls. Again...I REALLY wish I could have growled out loud!!!! I calmly said "Okay, I still have the receipt I will take the movie back to the store tomorrow. " I placed the DVD on top of the refrigerator and we just had another talk about how we need to appreciate the gifts we are given and not demand something else instead.

Being a parent is so hard sometimes!!!! On one hand I want to give my children all I can but I don't want them to always expect things and grow unappreciative of the things they are given. GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!

Kinda Sad...Kinda Strange

Well, today has been strange in a way. All of a sudden Samuel is being very independent about the whole potty training thing. Starting yesterday he is going without me asking and I hear the flush and he comes bebopping back into the room where I am with crooked pants and his shirt caught in his shorts. Today he even did all of that and I discovered that he had gone in there and actually poopied in the potty all by himself.

I have been doing some sort of diaper/pullup duty for my kids since Riley was born on May of 2005! She was still in diapers when Sam came along in December of 2006 so since then I have had a child in diapers. This is weird...a little sad but WONDERFUL at the same time!!!!!

Sam is a little boy now...not a baby...he will always be my baby but he potties now!!!!

We were all outside playing yesterday and he was riding his bike around and I caught a glimpse of the waist band of his undies that were a little higher than his shorts and I got a little choked up.

When Riley became completely potty trained I don't remember feeling this sense of sadness because I had Samuel still in diapers...same thing when Riley transitioned to a big girl bed because I was pregnant with Sam and we needed the crib to set up his nursery.

I do get sentimental about Riley and her milestones...I almost fell apart when she started preschool when she was 2 and again when she started Pre-k but I think everything may be a little harder with Sam because I know I will never have another baby so I am really trying to savor his firsts and lasts.

Even with me being a sentimental mess sometimes I really love the stage my children are in right now. Life is gradually getting easier. They are more and more independent every day and hopefully that will continue until they reach their preteen and teen years when they start driving us nuts and worry us to death!!!!

9 Days Into the Potty Training

Well, today is day number 9 of undies only for Sam Boogie!!!!

He is doing great overall but we do still have poopie problems occasionally.

We even ventured out to the movie at the park Saturday night and had no accidents. We were there for about 3 hours and with only one visit to the restroom he was good to go. I did hold my breath the whole time he was jumping in the inflatable thing but he was fine. He hasn't wet himself since the very beginning of the training.

I have been to the grocery store twice so far without buying pullups!!!! Yay for my big guy and yay for saving money each week!!!!

A Little Bit Of Me

I went through some old pictures last night and I found these. These photos are extremely precious and priceless to me. You may be thinking...okay...what is the big deal about them???? The one on top is the ONLY picture in existence of my whole family together and the one of just my brothers and I is the ONLY picture in existence of all of us together while we were little.

Here is a little background about how our very humble beginnings as a family....

My mom was very rebellious child to say the least and she will be the first to tell you so I am not divulging any deep dark secret here. She is an only child and form what I have been told she was quite a handful back then and still can be to this day. My mom was introduced to my dad by her uncle who is her same age and was one of her best friends. From the time they met they were practically inseparable and only had marriage on the brain. My dad was old enough to drive when they started dating and they would always skip school together and they tried and failed to sneak away and get married three times. They crossed the border to Tennessee, Alabama and Florida and all three times they were turned away and told they needed parental consent. My mom says that after putting her parents through hell for quite some time with the skipping school and rebelling they finally agreed to allow her to marry my dad. (It helped her case by telling them she was pregnant...she wasn't....yet.)

My parents were married on December 23, 1972 a little less than a month before my mom's 16th birthday, which was January 14, 1973. My dad had just turned 17 on September 8, 1972 before the were wed. They were so young!!!!

My oldest brother, Chris was born on February 4, 1974, Jamie was born on May 31, 1976 and I cam along on November 17, 1978. These photos were when I was a brand new baby with really young parents. My mom was 21 and my dad was 23 in this photo...but they already had 3 kids!!!!

Neither one of my parents graduated from high school and divorced when after 15 years of marriage. I can't imagine all of the struggles they faced back then! I know that if they hadn't made the decisions they did back then I wouldn't be here but I wonder what they could have become if they had been a little less hard headed and rebellious and maybe married when they were older and more educated.

Well...that is a tiny piece of my life story and a visual aid.

Have a wonderful day everyone!

Later Gaters!!!!

Come On October 9th!!!!

I am so ready to go to Nannie Annie's house in October!!!!! She is simply the best! I talk to her almost every day and always feel so good after I do. I feel like we are kindred spirits and simply love spending time with her.

We have a very strong connection because, like me, she knows what it is like to be married to a "horse's ass". She tells me often that Jamey is more like his granddad each time she sees him. She offers tips for me and tells me stories about her late husband that are exactly like situations I face with Jamey. It is really nice to have someone to talk to who understands what I go through with my own "horse's ass". (That is what Ann called her husband and calls Jamey when he acts like one....I have also started referring to Jamey as a horse's ass when the situation calls for it.)

Ann is just as excited as I am that we are coming for a visit. She just left me a message that she has made me an appointment for me to get my hair done while I am there and between all of her senior discounts, regular markdowns, clearances, etc. she said she has been shopping and has bought me tons of things...according to her receipt it only rang up to be around $80 but that she ended up saving over $300 according to her receipt...she a bargain stalker. She stalks items as if they are her prey until they are marked down so low they practically have to pay her to take the items home. :-) She is also extremely patient with her shopping she buys everything off season and puts them away...I am more like a buy it now to to wear it or use it tomorrow. I need to recruit her as my shopping mentor because I rarely shop and rarely find good deals.

I am also very excited to be able to visit Jamey's Aunt Lisa and her husband Wade. They have one daughter, Melissa, who is a little old than Jamey and she and her husband are having fertility issues. They have seen several specialists and so far they haven't been able to offer an explanation as to why she cannot conceive. No one really talks about it but you can tell it is heartbreaking for everyone. I can just tell when we are all together that Lisa and Wade would love to have grandchildren of their own. They love Riley and Sam so much and such great people any child would be very lucky to have them as grandparents. I hope that maybe one day either biologically or otherwise they will get to have those grandbabies they dream of. Ann told me that after our week long visit this summer that Lisa just cried and cried when we left. She said she loved having children in the house so much and that the house was too empty and quite without us there. Wade is such a fun man's man...he has a boat, loves to fish and is probably one of the best cooks I know....he would have so much knowledge to pass along and would spend so much time with a child in his life. I want to everything I can to be sure Riley and Sam are close to their Aunt Lisa and Uncle Wade because sadly they may be the only "grandchildren" they ever have. Today Riley told me that she doesn't want to go to Chuck E. Cheese for her birthday she wants to go to Aunt Lisa's house. I am definitely going to tell Lisa she said that. :-)

I need to go ahead and start making a packing list for the trip. I wish we were going this weekend!!!!

How Would You Spell The Sound Your Mouth Makes When You Stick Your Tongue Out And Make A Pooting Sound???? That Is What I Want To Name This Blog Post

I am tired!!!!! I am tired of being only having potty training on the brain, I am tired of worrying about money, I am tired of cleaning, I am tired of cooking, I am tired of killing all of the stupid flies in my house because we are all in and out so much, I am tired of football season already, I am tired of not knowing what I want to do career wise, I am tired of hearing depressing news whenever I turn the channel to a channel other than the kiddie networks, I am tired of attempting to keep up on our self reproducing dirty laundry, I am tired of begging my daughter to eat something besides Cherios, I am tired of being too fat for some of my clothes, I am tired of the mounds and mounds of dirty dishes that appear every night after dinner, I am tired of trying to kick my 4 coke a day habit, I am tired of my "TO DO" list growing rather than shrinking, I am tired of my husband ONLY talking about football, I am tired of never having any alone time and I am tired of being tired. Okay...that was my pity party now I will move on to topics that will cheer me up!!!!

I have plans to go to my happy place in October!!!! My MIL invited the kids and I to ride along with her to visit Nannie Annie during Riley's Fall Break!!! Jamey will stay behind because he has to work but I am SO excited. We will be there from Friday October 9th - Tuesday the 13th and even though it is going to be the beginning of October we will probably still be able to go to Ferandina Beach/Amelia Island or to Cumberland. Even if we can't or won't get in the water we can enjoy the beach! Woooo hooo!!!!! I love having something like this to look forward to and I love visiting Jamey's family...especially our very special Nannie Annie! We will be there just days after her birthday and we will celebrate while we are there. I am going to start working on a photobook for her tonight so that I can take my time on it, get it ordered and delivered in time to take with me.

I don't know about any of you moms who are reading this but once I had children the bonds with many people in my life were strengthened because of how much they love my children. As a mother, I think when you see how much someone adores your children it makes you adore that person in return. My bond with members of Jamey's family were really reinforced after Riley and Sam arrived. I have had a few surprises in that regard. My step dad for instance (not that he is in Jamey's family just using him as an example of my relationship changing with him after I had my kids...when I read it it sounded weird so I went back and added this explaination)...he seems very much like a man who likes kids okay but really could take them or leave them but if you assumed that you would be sorely mistaken. He truly adores my children and they him. It is very heartwarming to see them together and to see his face light up when they are around. He literally thinks they are hilarious and that everything they say and do is amazing. He also is sure to have them treats and surprises tucked away for when they visit. They think their Paw Paw is the best. I him agreeing to push them on the swings for as long and as high as they want helps a little with that! :-) Every child deserves to be made to feel loved and special and I tell Jamey all the time how lucky our kids are to be surrounded by people who love them so much.

I also may have a date night this Friday night if I can pull some strings and do some juggling. Riley is going to walk with Veronique for the Relay for Life and I am thinking about asking mom to keep Sam...depending on if his potty training progress continues like it is now. I don't want to set him back by sending him to mom's house for a few hours. I mean she would be fine with it but it would be out of his routine. My little man and I have worked too hard to mess it up now.

I better run...Sam has been outside for a little while with Jamey and I need to go remind him to come inside to....you guessed it.....potty!!!

Later Gaters!!!!!

P.S. This started out as a yucky post but I did manage to turn it around!

Day 3 Is Down

The kids are in the bed and potty training day three is officially history. Good grief this sucks!!!!

He woke up dry again this morning and I would say that today is a success despite the poop in the pants around 6:00 this evening. We didn't have any pee accidents and I could have probably helped avoid the poop slip up if Sam had been inside but he was outside playing while Jamey was doing yard work and I was inside with my MIL and Riley. Like I said before I am expecting this to happen for a while but man oh man is it a mess to clean up!!!!

I cannot wait until all of his bathroom business is automatic and I do not have to constantly think about his liquid intake compared to how long it has been since he has been and taking into consideration how much there was the last time as well as cringing each time he climbs up on any of the beds or sits on the sofa for extended periods of time. I told Jamey that once our kids are older that I would love to get new furniture and taking a blow torch to this set. It is so stained and funky it isn't even funny. I guess I will have to break down one day and call Stanley Steamer to see if they can work a miracle on it. (Maybe that will be my reward for getting Sam Boogie potty trained...I live on the edge!!!)

My ultimate goal is for by the end of this coming weekend to have him going more on his own without so much reminding and encouraging from me. I have already backed way off of the treats but am still giving plenty of high fives, hugs and silly victory dances. My next step is maybe to scale back the reminders somewhat and see what happens but I probably won't start that until like Thursday or so.

We are still hanging in there with this and if I have anything to do with it he WILL be completely on automatic pilot by his 3rd birthday in December!!!!

Operation Potty Training Boot Camp Day 2 Is DONE!!!!!

I would chalk today up as a success! Sam woke up dry and in summary he had 1/2 of a poop accident and one pee accident all day. (He started pooping in his undies and finished in the potty so I will give him props for the poop that landed where it was supposed to go....I am glad the vast majority of my readers are moms so I don't have to worry so much about the gross out factor here.)

I am very glad I grabbed several cheap party favor items from the grocery store while I was there yesterday!!!! The wall crawlers were a great incentive as were the slimey yo yo hand thingies. Riley is loving this potty training business because every time Sam gets a prize or a treat she does too because it wouldn't be fair for him to get all of this cool stuff and big sis not. (Riley's face was quite funny when she would ask for another treat or toy and I would tell her that she couldn't have another one until Sam used the potty again...she kind of looked at me like I had completely lost it, shrugged her shoulders and said, "Come on Sam, do you need to go potty?" Bribery for him and for her to help me remind him to go! Sweet!

This is exactly what I was hoping for...for him to show improvement each day....so far so good and we will see about tomorrow unfolds. If I had to guess I would guess that we MIGHT get to no pee accidents but the pooping may remain a problem for days to or weeks to come...I hope not but I am being realistic. Of course the real tests are going to come when we do have to venture out of the house for extended periods and oh how I dread the public restroom deal! Riley is like me, if she goes before leaving home unless we are gone for a REALLY long time she is good until we get home most of the time....I have a feeling Sam will not be that way. Luckily this coming week the only place we will have to go is to take and pick Riley up from school which is only 25 minutes round trip at the most so having him go right before we leave the house and with a beach towel in his car seat we should be set for the week.

Potty Training Bootcamp Day 1

Whew....it has been a LONG day and I am tired!!!! I have been potty cheering, reminding, cleaning, dancing, singing, and assisting constantly and I thing Sam and I both are glad it is over for the day.

In a nutshell we had one poop "accident" and two pee "accidents". We had five pee pee victories, dances and treats. I have enlisted the help of extra potties placed around the house, Spiderman stickers, Hotwheels stickers, and tiny peanut butter cups.

Currently Sam is upstairs in his bed in a pair of the old fashioned extra padded underwear with a mattress pad under his fitted sheet just in case...I am hoping he will be fine because he almost always wakes up dry and he went just before bed. (Actually the only time he is ever wet in the mornings is if he wakes up before I do and plays for a few minutes....I plan on waking him up in the morning so we can avoid that happening.)

I really hope it gets easier by the day and that we have made some major progress by the time this long weekend is over. This is just one of those hard and unpleasant things that has to be done and will be SO worth it when it is over and done. I am very glad not to have to ask anyone to go potty for the rest of the night and I will put on my cheerful happy face and play potty cheerleader beginning first thing in the morning again.

Have a wonderful night all!

Later Gaters!

Potty Training Bootcamp!!!!!

I don't really know why I am so very excited that it is finally the weekend but I am. Jamey is off on Monday but he has to work late tonight and has his fantasy football draft tomorrow so I really won't have him here more than any other weekend but I am very excited nonetheless!!!!

We are conducting a potty training bootcamp at my house this weekend beginning tomorrow and lasting through Monday night. It is perfect timing because Jamey will be off to help me Monday and Riley doesn't have school and Sam won't have that car ride. I have my plan in mind and am keeping my eye on the prize!!!! Please pray for God to grant me the patience I need to get through the accidents and messes that I am sure are going to be very frequent this weekend!

Every now and then when I smell baby lotion or see a picture of a precious little baby I get a tiny little twinge of longing for another baby but then it passes and I realize that, other than Sam only being a fraction of the way potty trained, I really love the stage my babies are at right now!!!!! Sam is still sweet and likes to be cuddled and rocked and Riley is so very independent in many ways and is even a help to me at times. Turning 4 was a wonderful thing for Riley!!! (I think Mandi and April told me that that age probably would be an improvement and they were 100% correct in Riley's case as well.) I see so many wonderful changes in Riley every day and she is quickly turning into a such a happy little lady! Thank you Lord!!!!! Oh, she definitely still has her moments but in the past it was completely the opposite...she would only have moments of non-dramatic behavior. I really prefer the drama queen coming out only every day or so instead of constantly!

Samuel is definitely ready for this potty training bootcamp. I looked online at the list of indicators to help you decide if your child is ready and he is and actually has been for quite sometime but I think I was the problem with my inconsistency. I guess I was trying to easy him into it slowly but that obviously hasn't worked so we are going for a potty training cram session this weekend. I am actually excited to get this done and behind us! I know there will be accidents and work to maintain his success but I want to get over the major hurdle and have him in undies all day and night every day and night!!!! I have one thing working in my favor already because he wakes up dry each morning and uses the potty immediately. It is during the day when he gets so busy playing that is the problem. I think Jamey's mom is going to keep Riley for me some this weekend as well so I will be here with only Sam which will make it a little easier as well.

I am ready to do this!!!!!

Picture Taking Kind Of Day Today

Today was just a really great day all around. The kids and I had a great time together and when Jamey got home the fun continued when Jamey and Riley got a bat and ball and started playing. She has always been very good at hitting a ball and because I was in a picture taking kind of mood today I snapped a few pictures of the fun.

One of the pictures clearly shows her excitement when she has a good hit and one clearly shows her um...frustration when "Daddy doesn't throw it high enough." (He pretty much throws the ball directly at the bat....but you gotta blame someone when you miss...so she thinks.) Dynamite truly does come in small packages and this little package gets so angry sometimes. It shouldn't be funny to me but sometimes I can't help but laugh at how short her fuse is and some of the things she says when she gets so angry. Plus, her face expressions and body language cracks me up more times than not. Little stinker!

Later Gaters...goodnight!!!!

Picnic In The Park

We decided to take a spur of the moment picnic in the park today and I am so glad we did. The kids has a blast and out of all of the pictures I snapped I really loved the two I posted here.

The one of Riley by herself captures her "wild hair" perfectly!!! The first thing she does after school is jerks the hair bow or pony tail holder out of her hair and with her baby fine hair this is what she is left with...a mass of wild hair upon her head!!! The one of them together captures their shared interest in playing in the dirt and sand mixture that is everywhere at the park.

I hope all of you got to get out and enjoy this beautiful day today as well...or that you will after work if you can.

Later Gaters!!!!!

What Do I Want To Be When I Grow Up????

On the way to take Riley to school this morning as my babies were in the backseat munching happily on their muffins and sipping on their juice boxes jamming out to their Imagination Movers CD I was doing some major pondering.

What in the world does the future hold for me? Am I meant to stay home for a while longer, will I find a job that will be great for now, should I rethink what I would like to do Monday - Friday for years and years to come, should I go back to school? WHAT??????

Let me describe the way I am about most things....it takes me a while to make major decisions but once I do I am in for the long haul. I grab on with my claws and teeth and pretty much have to be beaten off with a stick by circumstances beyond my control.

I came straight home and hopped online. I now have a college admission application in front of me as well as a copy of the academic calendar for 2010. Wow. I am not saying at this point I will or will not decide to take this path but I am excited about the possibility of it. I plan on talking to Jamey tonight and see what his thoughts and feelings are on the subject.

This time is my life is and has been very strange...out of the ordinary....scary....exciting....happy.....unsure....hard....easy....all rolled into one big fat burrito of confusion. Should I go to school? Should I just REALLY look for a job? Should I do both? Jamey seems to be happy with me staying home for now....should I just go with that? Would I be a good student after all this time? What course of study? Would I qualify for financial aid? Can I commit to this if it is what I decide to do? Eeeeek!!!! I REALLY HATE BIG DECISIONS!!!!

The good news is I do not have to decide right away as registration does not begin for Spring Semester until the beginning of November.

I am going to pray about it and discuss it with hubby man!!!!

Night Night Sam

Sam hates going to bed lately so I have started letting him take a flashlight to bed to scare away the monsters that lurk in his closet and around his room. His love of playing with flashlights and the security that the bright beam provides has helped a lot. He doesn't nap during the day so he is literally asleep within like 5-7 minutes so I creep back up the stairs and save the batteries from dying a slow and wasteful death.

I posted a couple of the pictures I took of him enjoying the flashlight before he fell out tonight. Little stinker!!!!