Icy Fingers of Fear....

I know that the two of you who normally read and comment on my post are mothers and you have been through things with your children that has sent that feeling over your whole body. 

Well, I have experienced it a couple of times....but none like what I experienced yesterday/last night/today.

You see, I have a very good friend who also happens to work with me.  I will call her E.  E. and I actually go way back....graduated high school together....worked together for a couple of years at a local accountant's office and have worked together for basically 10 solid years at where we are now...love that girl.

About a month ago I get a frantic call from E. before work one day.  She tested her 10 year old daughter's blood sugar the day before and again that morning and it was OFF the charts.  She was in full on panic mode.  She was sobbing into the phone and just kept saying...."This is going to change her whole life!"  I did not have the words to comfort her...I just listened and prayed.  Her daughter was admitted into the hospital that day and their family went through 3 days of intense diabetes education/training/glucose regulation.  E and her daughter are adjusting well to their new lifestyle and challenges.  After a year E's daughter will possibly qualify for an insulin pump but for now it is constant testing and insulin injections.  I had no idea until her daughter's diagnosis that the number one cause of type 1 diabetes is the body's own immune system attacking the pancreas. 

E. loaned one of her daughter's glucose monitors and a few strips yesterday.  I wanted to mainly test Sam because he is always thirsty and pees all the time.  So with a quick little lesson I bebopped home and tested both Riley and Sam.  I tested the after they each ate an apple but before dinner.  Sam's level was 134 and Riley's was 280!!!!!  OH NO!!!!!  FREAK OUT MODE!!!!

I texted E. and she suggested that I not freak out....for me to check Riley again this morning after fasting.  I was scared to death all night....all sorts of thoughts going through my mind.  What quality of life will she have during her whole life?, You are supposed to give injections in the fat not muscle...she doesn't have any fat....injections will be extremely painful for her, will she be able to have children safely one day? (Steel Magnolias kept playing through my mind...weird but true), Will she suffer kidney failure later in life?, Will one of be a match if she needs a kidney?, We will NEVER be able to be without insurance again...not even for a minute, my insurance plan is crappy....if she is hospitalized I will owe over $5000 right off the bat....not to mention the cost of all the medication and testing supplies, I need to join a support group for moms of diabetic children...yeah....I was a big ball of worry and fear!

This morning I checked Riley and Sam both again.  Sam's was 94 and Riley's was 93.  I felt a lot better but I called the doctor anyway to see if they wanted to see her. 

As I waited to hear back from the doctor I got a call from the school nurse telling me that Sam was throwing up.  Fantastic!

The doctor wanted to see both of the kids so off we went.  The doctor was very concerned about the 280.  The did a urine test on both kids and both tests were normal.  According to the doctor, children cannot be borderline diabetic.  He was concerned and puzzled about that 280 reading and then a normal one this morning.  He said there was a possiblility that the strip could have been contaminated.  He wants me to test her tomorrow morning and Friday morning and then call him with the numbers. 

I am still uneasy but no where near total panic that I was feeling before.  Dear icy cold fingers of fear...go away and never come back.  Please and Thank You!