Happines and Freedom

Today was day two of officially being jobless. I started counting yesterday...the first day I didn't report to work. I feel like I am living in a warped reality right now. Fear of our financial future is never far from my mind but this sense of happiness, wellbeing and freedom is most prevailant of all.

I have had a steady stream of e-mails and text messages from former co-workers, which is wonderful because I really do miss them terribly and PRAY that we are able to stay in touch like I plan. That is one of the only sad things about this whole thing right now...the severed relationships. They are wonderful warm people that I am blessed to know. I would be very sad if even in a small way they did not remain in my life.

I am enjoying being a wife and mom. I am enjoying my kids so much that I already dred going back to work and being away from them. I think out of habit my mind wonders back to work and when I remind myself that I don't work there anymore I feel relief wash over me like a warm wave. I wonder if I am going insane??!! I had this uncontrolable "tick" for a while and I would whisper to myself...I hate my job, I hate my job. I did that today while I was walking to the mailbox and again relief came as I remembered that am FREE!

I reported to the DOL today...that was an experience that I never thought I would have to experience but it wasn't entirely unpleasant. I plan to not have to draw a penny of unemployment but I am glad it is there if we do need it. In today's job market I will more than likely have to draw benefits for a while but I am going to stay optimistic that I will not have to.

I do not know yet what the future holds for our family but I do know that I have a wonderful family and with the fog of stress gone I see what I have in them. Stuff doesn't matter and even if we end up in an apartment, only have one vehicle and eat wellfare macaroni every night we will be together, we will have love and they will have a happier mommy. That is going to be priority one. I am sick of being Ms. Grumpy Pants all the time. Life is short and I want to feel Happiness and Freedom more often because it feels really, really good. Maybe God is showing me that things were getting in the way of my happiness and with certain things removed things can be simple and good...great...WONDERFUL!