Icy Fingers of Fear

Today was great! The kids and I laughed and played all day. Other highlights included: Two sets of neighbors walked over for a while, I donated tons of toys to Goodwill, thus starting the massive "clean out the garage" project, and we even squeezed in a trip to the park to visit the ducks and play on the playground. I plan on staying extremely busy...busy being a good mom and busy getting things done that I haven't had time to do in the past being a wife, mother and woman of the house that also held a more than fulltime job.

Even with the wonderful day that we had I did feel the icy fingers of fear taking hold today. What is going to become of us if I don't find another job before my severance pay ends? Will we lose our house? The fear and dred of beginning a new job is also present as well. You know what...I am going to do my very best to avoid letting fear get to me. I am going to force my positive attitude to prevail!!!!!! I will find work and we will somehow manage to stay afloat...somehow! If that means major sacrifice and Jamey getting a second job to supplement the lower income I will be earning then that is what we will have to do. Like I said before, as long as we are together all will be well. Things do not matter...just people and relationships.

I want to be a happy mom and have happy kids who know how much I adore them above all else.

I need to see this period of time as a vacation...a vacation to enjoy my family, my life and my home. So far it has been so very rewarding...a gift almost. I am sure I will have my hard days but when they begin to get hard I need to get out of the house and have fun with the kids or clean something...Lord knows there are plenty of things to clean around here to keep my negative feelings away!

I would say that 90% of me is at peace and 10% is scared to death! I think the 90% can kick the 10%'s butt so I am good for now. :-)